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Band 4.5

Education is very important. How can children who are disinterested in study be motivated to learn?

#education #children #study
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Living in the competitive world, better
education
Use synonyms
 always comes with
higher living standard
Suggestion
a higher living standard
higher living standards
. How to improve the
education
Use synonyms
in
Suggestion
of
 children, especially the one who does not like studying, is a problem for
Use synonyms
education industry
Suggestion
the education industry
 in every country. When the child is too young to understand the importance of studying, it is really hard to have the motivation. At the early stage, in
junior primary school
Suggestion
the junior primary school
for example
Linking Words
, a little discipline is necessary. Though
studing
reading carefully with intent to remember
studying
 like reading and counting maybe not as interesting as watching cartoons, spending some time on these boring subjects should be compulsory. These measures will give them the ability to enjoy learning activities in coming future, when they will be more confident to explore the unknown area.
However
Linking Words
, to increase the confidence in studying, the most important is
encouragement
Suggestion
encouraging
, especially in senior primary school and secondary school, when the children need to expand their knowledge dramatically. Most of the
student
Suggestion
students
 are disinterested in learning because of lack of
confident
Suggestion
confidence
confidentiality
. If an encourage
enviroment
the totality of surrounding conditions
environment
 is provided, they will have fun in studying and enjoy the feeling of achievement,
hence
Linking Words
 will be motivated to learn more. In consequence, a better
education
Use synonyms
 level can be expected.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
academy
Suggestion
the academy
 does not
necessary
Suggestion
necessarily
 have to be boring, it can be fun. For young children, knowledge can be
tought
impart skills or knowledge to
taught
thought
 in cartoons. The Blue Cat series is a successful sample in China, which is
a
Suggestion
an
 educational program enjoyed by many children in China. In order to get
better result
Suggestion
better results
a better result
 in children, knowledge can be delivered via
children’s favourite cartoon characters
Suggestion
the children’s favourite cartoon characters
. For the teenager, the idols in the entertainment industry play a big role [
this
Linking Words
 could have been combined with the following sentence with ‘and as
such
Linking Words
’[/expand]. They should be encouraged to send the correct messages to their fans. In conclusion, compulsory
education
Use synonyms
 is necessary at an early stage of studying, while
encourage
Suggestion
encouraging
enviroment
the totality of surrounding conditions
environment
 and teaching in more entertaining ways are extremely important.
Submitted by vinij89 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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