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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say young people should be encouraged to leave their family when they become adults while some argue they should live for a longer time with their family. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #adults #argue #time
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Although
 it is thought that young adults ought to stay
independently
Suggestion
independent
 from their family
,
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,
other people believe they need to live much longer with their relatives even when they are matured. In my opinion
,
Accept space
,
adults need not be allowed to stay with their families so that they can learn important life skills. Apparently, many individuals think young persons need not stay with families, the moment they are mature adults, so that they can be more responsible and better decision makers and I agree. In
order
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
 words
,
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,
when a mature individual is made to live separately from the family
,
Accept space
,
he tries to secure a paying job to survive
,
Accept space
,
which he uses to cater for his bills
such
 as feeding
,
Accept space
,
shelter, clothing and
also
 pay taxes to the government.
In addition
, they tend to decide on issues that affect critical aspects of their lives better
,
Accept space
,
which
otherwise
 would have been done by family members.
Consequently
,
this
 would not only integrate them into the society
properly but
Accept comma addition
properly, but
also
 be better citizens.
Nevertheless
, it is sometimes thought that boys and girls who have attained the stage of maturity need to continue staying with their relatives so as to guide them in decision making processes and provide basic life amenities.
To begin
 with, grown ups are faced with a plethora of challenges in the society nowadays.
In addition
, these problems range from the ability to make concrete decisions to securing good paying jobs which can provide foods, shelter and a host of other fundamental needs. To illustrate, a survey by the adult group magazine, states that 60% of young adults find it difficult to secure decent jobs quickly and to make good decisions.
Furthermore
, proper guidance and providing them with basic needs when they stay with their families could make
this
 set of people live better. To conclude, while many mature persons are seen staying with relatives, I am of the opinion to make them stay on their
own so
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own, so
 that they can face challenges in the society in turn making them better people.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster independence
  • personal responsibility
  • financial management
  • time management
  • decision-making
  • higher education
  • career opportunities
  • cultural exposure
  • personal growth
  • world view
  • affordable living
  • financial relief
  • emotional support
  • family bonds
  • close-knit cultures
  • delayed autonomy
  • dependence
  • daily decision-making
  • economic support
  • supportive environment
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