For some people, shopping is not just about buying what is necessary, but is a form of entertainment. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
In the modern era, since technology has developed significantly, the meaning of shopping has
also
changed. Linking Words
Although
shopping is a Linking Words
way
to purchase required items and clothes, it has become popular for entertainment purposes. Use synonyms
According to
my perspective, it can be both a positive and a negative development and I will justify the reasons behind Linking Words
this
in the upcoming paragraphs.
The first and foremost cause behind its positive impact is spending Linking Words
time
with family Use synonyms
while
shopping. Linking Words
For instance
, being workaholics, Linking Words
individuals
are unable to spend their precious Use synonyms
time
with family members as from Monday to Friday, they devote their Use synonyms
time
to their profession. On the weekends, going shopping is preferred by folks , in Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
way
, they not only do shopping but Use synonyms
also
attain an opportunity to invest some valuable Linking Words
time
with their loved ones. Use synonyms
Consequently
, Linking Words
this
activity makes them feel relaxed and rejuvenated.
Linking Words
However
, despite having certain positive effects, there are some negative consequences of Linking Words
this
thing. First of all, Linking Words
individuals
can waste their money in Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
way
. Use synonyms
For example
, if a person goes Linking Words
for
shopping every weekend for an entertainment purpose, that person could purchase unnecessary things as well Change preposition
apply
while
moving around in the shopping mall as things can attract by their styles. Linking Words
Moreover
, in shopping Linking Words
centers
, every store highlights their discount on the doors which can encourage anybody to shop. Change the spelling
centres
As a result
, Linking Words
at the end
of the month, some Linking Words
individuals
are left with little money in their hands owing to spending on unimportant items.
In conclusion, though shopping can be a Use synonyms
way
to entertain ourselves, Use synonyms
individuals
had better not to utilize their valuable money on the things that they do not need. I thinkUse synonyms
,
people can enjoy their weekend more by doing some outdoor activities that are helpful for their physical and mental health.Remove the comma
apply
Submitted by simranjot0002 on
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task achievement
Make sure to directly address the question prompt in your introduction to immediately establish your position. While you mentioned that shopping as entertainment could be both positive and negative, explicitly stating your viewpoint could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures more to add complexity and interest to your writing. Using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can enhance the readability of your essay.
general
Pay attention to your grammar and punctuation to avoid minor mistakes. For instance, be cautious with the use of commas and ensure that your sentences are grammatically consistent.
task achievement
Expanding your conclusion to better summarize your key points and restate your position clearly can make your argument more persuasive. This helps the reader to remember the main ideas and your stance on the topic.
task achievement
Provided well-developed examples to support your points, enhancing the argument's clarity and effectiveness.
coherence cohesion
Good use of an introductory paragraph to set up the topic and outline the essay structure.
task achievement
Successfully covered both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view before stating your final position.