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Band 6.5

Nowadays, most people try to achieve a balance between work and other parts of their lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. What are the problems which prevent them? Suggest some solutions.

#people #balance #work #parts #lives
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It is true that in contemporary
society many
Accept comma addition
society, many
 people would like to balance
work
 with other commitments and leisure
time
. While
this
 is not easy to achieve, it is possible to overcome some of the obstacles and enjoy a more balanced lifestyle. There are two aspects of
work
 which make huge demands on employees today.
Firstly
, the modern working environment can be extremely stressful. Even if employees have a desk job, they may have to cope with a heavy workload, leaving them exhausted at the end of the day.
Then
,
time
 must be spent commuting home where there is cooking to be done, cleaning and looking after children.
Secondly
, the workplace is very competitive, and few people are able to pursue a successful career. Many workers put in extra hours, to improve their promotion opportunities and move up the career ladder.
However
, there are solutions which will contribute towards a better
work
-life balance. In terms of
work
, it may be better to have no career ambitions and,
instead
, to have a steady job with supportive
work
 colleagues. To avoid rush hour traffic jams, flexible working hours would make commuting easier and quicker. From the perspective of life outside
work
, people would
then
 have the
time
 and energy to take up sport or gentle exercise. The British,
for example
, love to walk their dogs.
Instead
 of earning high salaries to spend on consumer products, workers could earn less and enjoy simpler
lifestyles
Suggestion
lifestyle
, with more
time
 for their families or friends. In conclusion,
although
 it is difficult to achieve the right balance between
work
 and other parts of life, it is possible to do so by living more simply with less
work
-related stress.
Submitted by nhaianh27 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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