IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Although there is a lot of translation software available, learning a language could still be advantageous. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Despite the development of automated text
translation
Use synonyms
 these days, many people still believe that learning another
language
Use synonyms
 is beneficial. Personally, I concur with the aforementioned statement, and I will explain the reasons in the subsequent paragraphs. There are two undeniable limitations when it comes to using
translation
Use synonyms
 applications. First and foremost, most of the current
software
Use synonyms
 cannot be accessed unless there is an Internet connection. Even when users download the offline version of
such
Linking Words
software
Use synonyms
, the instant
translation
Use synonyms
 feature is
then
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 unavailable, and searching for definitions is limited to only the languages that have been downloaded.
Additionally
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, the majority of
translation
Use synonyms
 applications are unable to differentiate among various written text genres, which causes users a great deal of inconvenience, especially when dealing with formal and academic texts.
Therefore
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, by being dual
language
Use synonyms
 learners, humans can easily compensate for the constraints of
translating
Replace the word
translation
 apps.
Furthermore
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, second
language
Use synonyms
 learners may have a higher chance of becoming successful in the future and face fewer difficulties when working in an international environment.
This
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 is because many domestic firms‘ business partners are international, and having at least a second
language
Use synonyms
 certificate of intermediate level is becoming compulsory for both foreign and local businesses. It is
also
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 noticeable that businesses have the tendency to
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 bilingual and multilingual candidates since they have the ability to hold conversations and adapt to a wider range of clients in comparison to monolingual ones.
Thus
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, students may risk losing out on career prospects if they depend too heavily on
translation
Use synonyms
software
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I advocate the notion that humans should not rely on
translation
Use synonyms
software
Use synonyms
due to
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 its flaws and that individuals should learn at least
a
Correct article usage
one
show examples
 foreign
language
Use synonyms
 to take control of their future careers.

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task response
Make your main idea more direct in body 1. Say more clearly how app limits support your answer.
task response
Add one short real example in each body paragraph. This will make your ideas stronger.
task response
Explain 'successful in the future' in a more exact way. This idea is a bit broad now.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow, but some linking words feel a bit heavy. Use simple links too, like 'also' and 'for example'.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are long. Split a few of them into two shorter sentences for better flow.
coherence and cohesion
The second body paragraph has good points, but one point can be developed more deeply before moving to the next one.
task response
You answer the question clearly and give a clear opinion from the start.
task response
Both body paragraphs stay on the topic and support your main view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Ideas move in a logical order, so the reader can follow your argument well.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural Appreciation
  • Cognitive Flexibility
  • Idiomatic Expressions
  • Career Advancement
  • Multilingual
  • Proficiency
  • Empathy
  • Cultural Barriers
  • Native Speaker Fluency
  • Colloquialisms
  • Language Acquisition
  • Immersive Experience
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