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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The impact of modern
technology
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 on social
interactions
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 is a topic of considerable debate.
While
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 some argue that
technology
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 fosters
sociability
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 by facilitating communication, others contend that it contributes to social isolation.
This
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 essay will explore both perspectives before offering my own view. Proponents of the idea that
technology
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 enhances
sociability
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 often point to the rise of social media and instant messaging platforms. These tools enable people to connect with friends and family across great distances, allowing for the maintenance of
relationships
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 that might
otherwise
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 dwindle.
For instance
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, platforms like Facebook and WhatsApp enable users to share life updates and engage in conversations, creating a sense of community that transcends geographical barriers.
Additionally
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, online forums and gaming communities allow individuals with shared interests to bond, promoting social
interactions
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 that may not have been possible in a pre-digital age.
Conversely
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, critics argue that
technology
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 can lead to a decrease in genuine social
interactions
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. The convenience of online communication may discourage face-to-face encounters, leading to a decline in personal
relationships
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. Many people now prefer texting or messaging over meeting in person, which can result in superficial
connections
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.
Furthermore
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, the rise of virtual reality and immersive gaming can lead individuals to spend excessive time in solitary environments,
further
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 isolating them from real-world social experiences.
This
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 shift may contribute to feelings of loneliness and disconnection, particularly among younger generations who may rely more heavily on
technology
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 for social interaction. In my opinion,
while
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technology
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 has the potential to enhance
sociability
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, it ultimately depends on how it is used. When used to supplement face-to-face
interactions
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,
technology
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 can strengthen
relationships
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 and create new social opportunities.
However
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, if individuals prioritize virtual communication over in-person
connections
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, it can lead to social withdrawal.
Therefore
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, a balanced approach that integrates
technology
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 with traditional social practices is essential for fostering genuine
connections
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. In conclusion, the relationship between modern
technology
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 and
sociability
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 is complex, with valid arguments on both sides.
While
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 it can facilitate
connections
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 and enhance
relationships
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, it
also
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 poses the risk of promoting isolation if not used mindfully. Striking a balance between the two is crucial to ensure that
technology
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 serves as a tool for fostering meaningful social
interactions
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.

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task achievement
To enhance your task response, consider elaborating more on how individuals can balance technology usage with traditional social practices. Providing a few more examples here can further illustrate your point.
task achievement
Ensure all examples used are specific and relevant to the main points discussed. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize the discussion points.
coherence cohesion
Each viewpoint is supported with specific examples, like mentioning social media platforms and virtual reality, which enhances understanding.
task achievement
You have balanced the discussion well by fairly representing both views and providing your opinion, showing clarity in your ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • online marketplaces
  • mobile payment options
  • personalized advertising
  • accessibility
  • compare prices
  • decision fatigue
  • impulse buying
  • financial imprudence
  • privacy and data security
  • transformed
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
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