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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of bad person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #crime #poverty #person’s #nature
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It is generally believed that inborn characteristics are the reasons leading to criminal problems.
However
, I would argue that a [1] crime is an undeniable consequence of social issues and
poverty
. There is a belief that a criminal is the result of a person's nature.
Firstly
, a person who is cruel easily commits a crime.
In particular
, a small child bullying other boys or girls at school is more likely to commit murder or
have take
Suggestion
have taken
 violent actions in years to come.
Secondly
, bad
characteristics including
Accept comma addition
characteristics, including
 laziness and selfishness could
also
 build up breed [2] future offenders. It cannot be denied that a
number
 of youngsters,
instead
 of working to earn a living, choose to steal from other people. It seems that people who are born with an inborn negative nature are likely to be accused of [3] crimes.
Nevertheless
, it seems to me that social issues and
poverty
 are
primary reasons
Suggestion
the primary reasons
 behind a [1] crime.
First
 and foremost, problems in society could lead to an increasing
number
 of crimes.
For example
, unemployment pushes an array of people to work illegally to earn their livings. As a consequence, the
number
 of offenders has climbed in recent years.
Furthermore
, the situation of
poverty
 is
also
 claimed to be one of the main reasons leading to unlawful problems [4] criminal acts. It is undeniable that if their standard of living cannot allow people to meet basic needs, they would will do pursue [5] illegal activities to make money so that they could support their family.
Consequently
, criminal issues would become increasingly serious. In conclusion, while a
number
 of people think that a person's nature is the primary cause of crimes, I would argue that they are the results of social issues and
poverty
.
Submitted by henrytran4121995 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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