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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages?

#teachers #student #exchange #school #students
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Thanks to the development of globalization, young generations now have opportunities to interact with foreign peers. While it is true that
this
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 activity brings many merits for teenagers in terms of self-improvement, I believe that it could impact to the
economy
Suggestion
economic
 growth of a nation.
To begin
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 with, there are several major benefits when adolescents study abroad.
First
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 of all, since learners have a chance to interact with
foreigner
Suggestion
foreigners
a foreigner
, they would gain more experiences from different cultures.
Therefore
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, could improve their personal skills
such
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 as communication and broaden their knowledge.
In addition
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,
this
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 international exchange project could
also
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 be beneficial for students
on
Suggestion
in
of
for
to
 the future. To be more specific, well-paid jobs often require employees who have a diverse profile with a wide network of activities. Turning to the alternative side, the downside of
this
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 organization overshadows its advantages for two primary reasons. The main
short coming
a failing or deficiency
shortcoming
stem
Suggestion
stems
 from the high expenditure on
transportation which
Accept comma addition
transportation, which
 could lead to a budget deficit for a nation.
Consequently
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, it could negatively effect on other essential sectors
such
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 as medical or household. Another reason would be the environmental problems. Since the travelling stage of
this
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 program
require
Suggestion
requires
 a great deal of transportation, corresponding
for
Suggestion
to
 an enormous amount of exhausted carbon dioxide.
This
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 could cause many kinds of pollution, especially atmospheric pollution.
As a result
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,
young generation
Suggestion
the younger generation
younger generation
younger generations
 may have to suffer from
this
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 problem which would ruin their physical health and lead to various diseases. To recapitulate, it is undeniable that the international
students
Suggestion
student
 exchange program is extremely beneficial for teenagers in terms of
personal
Suggestion
personality
-development.
However
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, I strongly believe that
this
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 program could harm the environment as well as
human’s
Suggestion
human
 well-being and the governments should
also
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 concern about other sectors.
Submitted by nguyetminh2903 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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