IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Stress related illnesses are becominh increasingly common. What do you think are the causes? what solutions can you suggest?

#stress #illnesses #becominh
People are increasingly suffering from sickness
as a result
 of
stress
.
This
 essay will discuss the main causes of It, which are job pressure and lack of physical activities. It will
also
 suggest some solutions, which are choosing less demanding jobs and including some physical or recreational activities in daily
life
. Nowadays the jobs have become very stressful and hectic because of the competitiveness in the market. There are always tight deadlines and long job hours
moreover
, because of
such
 demanding
work
 assignments people are left with no time to engage in any form of physical activity.
For example
, a person working for 8 to 10 hours a day feels so exhausted after
work
 that would crash into bed or retire back home rather than going to jog, yoga session or any social engagement.
Such
 long
work
 hours and no unwinding activity will eventually lead to
stress
. To reduce the
stress
 which can cause mental and physical health issues we need to modify our living style and adopt a more
work
life
 balance approach that includes some physical and relaxing activities.
For example
, people should switch to jobs which are less demanding and give flexibility in working hours. Making more money and leading a
life
 with diseases is worse than opting for less ambitious jobs and spending some time for pleasure and relaxation. To conclude, I would say
stress
 is becoming very common in our society.
This
 essay has discussed that it is the result of job pressures and lack of recreational activities and essay suggested that these problems can be solved by leading a balanced
life
Accept comma addition
life, moreover
moreover
, opting for less stressed jobs and including some physical activities in our daily routine.
Submitted by raheela.awan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: