IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that zoos should be banned for being cruel towards the animals while others say they should be continued for protecting rare animals. Discuss both your views and give your opinion.

While
Linking Words
 some believe that
zoos
Use synonyms
 must be prohibited
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 treating
animals
Use synonyms
 insensitively,
however
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, others favour
to retain
Change the verb form
retaining
show examples
 them for
wild
Correct your spelling
wildlife
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life
Use synonyms
 conservation .I personally believe that rare
animals
Use synonyms
 Intro can only be saved from extinction when kept in
zoos
Use synonyms
 away from
effects
Correct article usage
the effects
show examples
 of unfavourable conditions. On the one hand, proponents of
cruelty free
Add a hyphen
cruelty-free
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 practices towards
wild
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 believe that keeping forest creatures in congested areas is harsh.
For example
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, Elephants cannot survive comfortably in small enclosures .
Zoos
Use synonyms
 may not perfectly replicate natural conditions suitable for animal wellbeing
such
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 as adequate space for their free movement.
Hence
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, these
animals
Use synonyms
 would not have suitable circumstances similar to their habitat.
Resultantly
Rephrase
As a result
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, many rare species could die sooner than their natural
Use synonyms
life-span
Correct your spelling
life
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, in artificial habitats
On the other hand
Linking Words
, zoo supporters insist on
utility
Add an article
the utility
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 of
wild
Correct your spelling
wildlife
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life
Use synonyms
 sanctuaries for conservation. They argue that a zoo serves as a shelter for shielding
animals
Use synonyms
such
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 as polar bears , from bitter and abruptly changing climatic conditions.
In addition
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, deforestation as a legacy of increasing human population leads to disappearing natural habitats for wild
animals
Use synonyms
 . In
this
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 connection, carefully planned conservation programs would provide suitable environment, temperature, food, and health care which may enable
animals
Use synonyms
 to live healthy and grow in numbers. Australian Zoological
research journal
Correct your spelling
Research Journal
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 recently reported that giant pandas are increasing in numbers after successful intervention of human-controlled breeding for their reproduction.
Therefore
Linking Words
, conserving
animals
Use synonyms
 in
zoos
Use synonyms
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 one of the best ways to save species from extinction. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some people think that
zoos
Use synonyms
 should be forbidden, I ,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, believe that they are worthwhile to save endangered species from extinction.
Thus
Linking Words
, zoo authorities should carefully regulate the procedures for animal care, so that
wild
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 sanctuaries can truly serve the purpose of animal protection.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • animal welfare
  • conservation
  • captive breeding
  • habitat
  • ethical issues
  • zoochosis
  • endangered species
  • genetic diversity
  • reintroduction programs
  • wildlife education
  • sanctuary
  • natural living conditions
  • artificial environments
  • behavioral enrichment
  • ecosystem
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