Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
While
some believe that children
raised in a middle-to-low income
family have better abilities to cope with issues in their Add a hyphen
middle-to-low-income
adult
life
, some think that this
notion is only true for children
that
were raised by wealthy parents. In my opinion, I agree more with the former, Correct pronoun usage
who
due to
reasons that will be discussed throughout this
essay.
On one end of the spectrum, it is important to mention that children
who are raised with wealth might’ve had more resources to prepare them for their adult
life
. They could have had access to better education, life
coaches, books, or even consultants to help them map out their plans for the future. Nevertheless
, these children
still grew up having everything served for
them on a silver platter.
Change preposition
to
However
, the reason why I have my stance is because growing up in a working class
family can foster a deeper sense of appreciation for Add a hyphen
working-class
money
in children
. As they age, problems and struggles also
become a part of everyday-
Correct your spelling
everyday life
life
, familiarizing children
with skills to problem-solve and adapt accordingly
. When they know that money
can only be earned through difficulties, they will value merit-based efforts. Instilled with these values, they can develop effective money
management skills that will undoubtedly be beneficial in their adult
life
.
All in all, I believe that low-income families can raise children
who are better adapted with
Change preposition
to
adult
problems. Although
wealthy children
could have had better resources growing up, children
who did not grow up with as much money
can have a higher chance to appreciate
hard work.Change preposition
of appreciating
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed fully with relevant examples. Expand on the ideas you present by offering concrete examples from real life or credible sources to support your arguments more robustly.
task achievement
Your essay introduction and conclusion are clearly present, but you can improve them by making your thesis statement more specific and directly answering the prompt in your conclusion.
task achievement
Try to evenly balance the discussion between both sides of the argument, even if you are favoring one over the other. This will show a more thorough examination of the topic.
coherence cohesion
To enhance the essay's cohesion, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to show contrasts, comparisons and conclusions.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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