IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that a good way to reduce crime is longer sentences. Others may think there are alternate ways to this problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crime #sentences
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Crime
 has tremendously increased across the globe over the decade.
people
Suggestion
People
 are committing unimaginable heinous crimes and are given long sentences as punishment.
However
, there are a few countries which impose other ways of punishment. The following essay discusses both the views. All crimes committed cannot be treated as equal and not all punishments imposed should be the same. Many teenagers commit
crime
 unknowingly and their maturity levels and level of understanding about social
lawe
Suggestion
la we
 are at a naive level. These tender buds who commit
crime
 cannot be given long sentences as they have a bright future ahead of them and would like to correct themselves if given a chance.
Moreover
, many people who commit
crime
 keep appealing in higher courts to reduce their
time which
Accept comma addition
time, which
 might take several years or even decades.
On the contrary
, many countries have started alternate ways of punishing people. Governments have started counselling sessions by showing videos about how difficult life can be behind bars.
For instance
, in India people who drive vehicles rashly and commit accidents are shown videos about prisoners and their life behind bars.
In addition
, some countries have even started imposing community service as a punishment. Offenders
are asked
Suggestion
have been asked
 to do community service for 6 months or a
year depending
Accept comma addition
year, depending
 on the intensity of the
crime
. To conclude, I believe that not all crimes should be treated equally and different punishments should be given for different crimes. Long sentences is not the only way to correct a
person but
Accept comma addition
person, but
 other
ways
Accept comma addition
ways, such
such
 a community service should be tried
first
 to correct themselves.
Submitted by msn.chaitanya06 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: