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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

to what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages?

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In the contemporary nature, data is considered the utmost wealth of an organization or an individual. the development of
information
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technology
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 is playing a crucial role in everyone's day-to-day life.
although
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 there are some drawbacks to the advancement of
information
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technology
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, the uncountable benefits always outweigh the disadvantages. through
this
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 essay, I am going to discuss the pros and cons of
this
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.
Firstly
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, One of the main advantages of using
information
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technology
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 is that It provides detail about whatever happen wherever in the corner of the world. so, people can be informed at all times and can take precautionary action if needed.
for instance
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, two years back the virus started to spread in China and immediately the World Health Organization declared that it was a dangerous disease so everyone should be alert and use masks and sanitisers to ensure their hygiene
thus
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 it could be controlled.
furthermore
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, The development of advanced
information
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Technology
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 helps countries to stay connected and exchange knowledge.
On the other hand
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, even though there are lots of good uses of IT, there are
also
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 some drawbacks connected with
this
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such
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 as cybercrime which means unauthorized benefit of
information
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.
for example
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,
last
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 year, in Sri Lanka, the personal conversations between political leaders leaked and caused some unwanted problems. and
moreover
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, by the use of IT-related advanced social media platforms, youngster tend to misuse the
information
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 and make their own problems. In conclusion, use of the modern
information
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 plays a crucial role in each and every field. By creating and implementing some rules to control the unethical handling of
information
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, the whole world enjoys the benefits of it.

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coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the organization of your essay by providing clearer transitions between ideas. Use varied linking words and phrases to create better flow and clearly connect the points within and between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction effectively sets the context for the topic and presents a clear thesis statement. The conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Develop each main point with more thorough explanations and provide specific, relevant examples to illustrate the advantages and disadvantages of information technology in more detail.
task achievement
Ensure a complete response to the task by thoroughly discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of information technology, and stating to what extent one outweighs the other.
task achievement
Clarify and expand on your ideas to show a comprehensive understanding of the topic. Aim to provide a more nuanced discussion, rather than broad generalizations.
task achievement
Use specific and relevant examples to support your points. These should be drawn from reliable sources or general knowledge, and they should directly relate to your argument.
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