IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause and suggest a possible solution.

#over-reliance #cars
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People have become too dependent on automobiles.
This
Linking Words
 has led to dilemmas
such
Linking Words
 as
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion, as well as, increased co2 emissions.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
further
Linking Words
 explore these problems and
reccomend
push for something
recommend
 possible ways to overcome them. Over dependence on vehicles has
lead
Suggestion
led
 to an increase in the carbon footprint. It is well known that car co2 emissions are the number one contributors to global warming worldwide.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the temperature of the earth is rising at nearly twice the rate it was 50 years ago. To illustrate, a newspaper article of the union of concerned scientists of America states that; one fifth of all carbon emissions are caused by cars.
Hence
Linking Words
, their usage is a major aspect of the greenhouse effect.
Secondly
Linking Words
, with the rise in individuals relying on them, their popularity has skyrocketed.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 has led to extreme
Use synonyms
traffic
Suggestion
Traffic
 congestion in towns.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
traffic
Use synonyms
 has made commuting around the city much more difficult, as well as, contributed to a lot of accidents. One effective approach to deal with
this
Linking Words
concrundum
Suggestion
 is to provide ‘ no vehicle zones’ in cities. These are designated areas in their
center's
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
centre
 that would be inaccessible by cars.
This
Linking Words
 way
,
Accept space
,
t he congestion issue can be relieved. A good example of how
this
Linking Words
 was proven effective was in the world cup 2014 in London, through the eradication of car zones,
traffic
Use synonyms
 decreased by 50% and there was more walking space.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, another solution is that laws can be passed to restrict the amount of petrol people can purchase per day.
Thus
Linking Words
, limiting their usage of their automobiles and obligating them to only use them when they absolutely need to. In conclusion humans have become accustomed to depending on their cars for most of their daily
acitivities
any specific behavior
activities
 which
has resulted
Suggestion
have resulted
 in an increased greenhouse effect and a rise in
traffic
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 can be overcome by restricting their automobile usage through
legistlations
law enacted by a legislative body
legislation
.
Submitted by leena_likey on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: