Some people say that what children watch influences their behaviour. Others believe the amount of time they spend on television influences their behaviour most. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

It is evident that
television
has a significant effect on children. While it is hard to determine whether the length of
time
spent on TV programs or its content has more
marked
the world of commercial activity where goods and services are bought and sold
market
impacts on preschoolers, I concur that both sides influence the
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
of the youth equally. On the one hand, watching
television
for a long period of
time
would exert a host of detrimental effects on children.
Firstly
, the longer youngsters
view
Suggestion
views
TV programs, the higher the chances they would get addicted to it. As they solely seek entertainment from
television
, it is inevitable that those young watchers/audience would neglect their participant participation in outdoor activities, which makes them prone to sedentary-related diseases
such
as obesity, muscle degeneration, and high blood pressure, .
excessive
Suggestion
Excessive
attention
on
Suggestion
to
paid to TV shows would
also
impair their communication skills. Specifically, by spending too much overmuch
time
behind in
Accept comma addition
behind, in
front of the screen, the juvenile would be discouraged from real-life interaction with family members and the outside world, depriving them themselves of opportunities to socialize.
This
,
hence
, would hinder their social development and profoundly affect their adulthood in the long run.
On the other hand
, the consequence of children watching inappropriate materials would be
also
deleterious. Since they could not distinguish between the right and the wrong, counter-educational programs which broadcast violence and pornography as well as negative
modelings
a hypothetical description of a complex entity or process
models
models'
mailings
such
as smoking, alcohol abuse, and swearing, could easily make children fall under the impression that those things are
trendy
Suggestion
trending
. More seriously, they could end up imitating those inappropriate
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviours
and adopting an unhealthy lifestyle. As an illustration, children who are exposed to violent shows and games at the early age not only often exhibit aggressive emotion and
behaviors but
Accept comma addition
behaviour, but
behaviour but
behaviours but
also
have a high potential of committing crimes, which poses a threat
on
Suggestion
to
the well-being of society. In conclusion, I am inclined to the school of thought that both the content viewed by children and the
time
they allocate for
television
would have implications on their conducts. When it comes to monitoring children‘s
television
viewing habits, it is imperative to provide timely parental guidance coped with stringent governmental regulations.
Submitted by hei.vn03 on

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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