Some people think that the government should make laws regarding nutrition and healthy lifestyle, while others think that it is a matter of personal choice and personal responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are discussions about, some
people
Use synonyms
saying that the
government
Use synonyms
should impose on citizens a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
.
whereas
Linking Words
, others believe that it is an individual choice that can not be interfered with. But the real question is, if the
government
Use synonyms
makes
this
Linking Words
decision is it beneficial to these
people
Use synonyms
?
government
Use synonyms
should encourage their citizens on
lifestyle
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
of imposing them because it is difficult to control all the
people
Use synonyms
in the city even if the
government
Use synonyms
imposed tax or fines
this
Linking Words
can impact society in a negative way. The
government
Use synonyms
can
interested
Add a missing verb
be interested
show examples
in healthy lifestyles. like, providing clubs in different areas with affordable prices
also
Linking Words
offers or discounts on healthy food.
For example
Linking Words
, in Saudi Arabia
government
Use synonyms
created places specially for walking with all tools for exercise. Sometimes
people
Use synonyms
do not have the motivation or insistence for a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
. To be more specific, their
lifestyle
Use synonyms
has wrong habits
such
Linking Words
as too much fat and eating in large quantities without any control.
As well as
Linking Words
personal solutions have more effectiveness than
government
Use synonyms
rules because sometimes health awareness could be more effective in behaviour changes.
For instance
Linking Words
, an awareness campaign about the dangers of smoking
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
may encourage a lot of
people
Use synonyms
to quit smoking rather than smoking strongly banned by the
government
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, it is hard to impose
people
Use synonyms
on a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
, there are various ways to encourage the community about healthy. So in my perspective, a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
is a personal choice but with the help of
government
Use synonyms
, we can increase the percentage of healthy
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by waad.balubaid on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Although the essay presents both sides of the argument, it can be improved by providing deeper analysis and clearer articulation of ideas. For instance, explore specific reasons why government-imposed regulations may or may not be effective.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more logically. Improve transitions between sentences to maintain a smooth flow. For example, rather than starting a sentence with 'Like', consider transitioning ideas by saying 'For example' or similar linking phrases
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, encapsulating the main ideas and stance effectively.
task achievement
The use of real-life examples, such as the case in Saudi Arabia, strengthens the argument by providing concrete illustrations of points discussed.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: