Some people think that the government should make laws regarding nutrition and healthy lifestyle, while others think that it is a matter of personal choice and personal responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There are discussions about, some
people
saying that the
government
should impose on citizens a healthy
lifestyle
.
whereas
, others believe that it is an individual choice that can not be interfered with. But the real question is, if the
government
makes
this
decision is it beneficial to these
people
?
government
should encourage their citizens on
lifestyle
instead
of imposing them because it is difficult to control all the
people
in the city even if the
government
imposed tax or fines
this
can impact society in a negative way. The
government
can
interested
Add a missing verb
be interested
show examples
in healthy lifestyles. like, providing clubs in different areas with affordable prices
also
offers or discounts on healthy food.
For example
, in Saudi Arabia
government
created places specially for walking with all tools for exercise. Sometimes
people
do not have the motivation or insistence for a healthy
lifestyle
. To be more specific, their
lifestyle
has wrong habits
such
as too much fat and eating in large quantities without any control.
As well as
personal solutions have more effectiveness than
government
rules because sometimes health awareness could be more effective in behaviour changes.
For instance
, an awareness campaign about the dangers of smoking
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
may encourage a lot of
people
to quit smoking rather than smoking strongly banned by the
government
. In conclusion, it is hard to impose
people
on a healthy
lifestyle
however
, there are various ways to encourage the community about healthy. So in my perspective, a healthy
lifestyle
is a personal choice but with the help of
government
, we can increase the percentage of healthy
people
.
Submitted by waad.balubaid on

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task achievement
Although the essay presents both sides of the argument, it can be improved by providing deeper analysis and clearer articulation of ideas. For instance, explore specific reasons why government-imposed regulations may or may not be effective.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more logically. Improve transitions between sentences to maintain a smooth flow. For example, rather than starting a sentence with 'Like', consider transitioning ideas by saying 'For example' or similar linking phrases
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, encapsulating the main ideas and stance effectively.
task achievement
The use of real-life examples, such as the case in Saudi Arabia, strengthens the argument by providing concrete illustrations of points discussed.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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