New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is evident that children are shifting outdoor activities to indoor thanks to the advance of technologies. I concur with the idea that
this
tendency only render detrimental effects on the youngsters. The consequence of children altering their spare time activities would be
also
deleterious. In terms of physical impacts, as they solely seek entertainment from television, it is inevitable that those
young
Suggestion
younger
audience
Suggestion
audiences
would neglect their participation in outdoor activities, which makes them prone to sedentary-related diseases
such
as obesity, muscle degeneration, and high blood pressure. Regarding mental influences, since they could not distinguish between the right and the wrong, counter-educational programs which broadcast violence and pornography as well as negative
modelings
a hypothetical description of a complex entity or process
models
models'
mailings
such
as smoking, alcohol abuse, and swearing, could easily make children fall under the impression that those things are
trendy
Suggestion
trending
. More seriously, they could end up imitating those inappropriate
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviours
and adopting an unhealthy lifestyle. As an illustration, children who are exposed to violent shows and games at the early age not only often exhibit aggressive emotion and
behaviors but
Accept comma addition
behaviour, but
behaviour but
behaviours but
also
have a high potential of committing crimes, which poses a threat
on
Suggestion
to
the well-being of society.
Additonally
Suggestion
Additionally
, excessive attention paid to TV shows would
also
impair their communication skills. Specifically, by spending overmuch time in front of the screen, the juvenile would be discouraged from real-life interaction with family members and the outside world, depriving themselves of opportunities to socialize.
This
,
hence
, would hinder their social development and profoundly affect their adulthood in the long run. In conclusion, it is imperative to provide timely parental guidance coped with stringent governmental regulations in order to balance the time children spending on the Internet and in real life.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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