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Band 4.5

Do you agree that the advantages cars bring outweigh the disadvantages?

#cars
Although
 it is sometimes people said that
car
 advantages is
outweight
impart skills or knowledge to
taught
tight
 than negative impacts. In my view
,
Accept space
,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 will sit on the fence of
this
 statement. There are several
excuse
Suggestion
excuses
 for
this
 statement.
First
 of all
,
Accept space
,
 with the presence of the cars
it
it is
it's
 just not for travelling which can not give us the luck
,
Accept space
,
 but the
car
 was
also
help
Suggestion
helping
 people
succes
an event that accomplishes its intended purpose
success
sources
 in
certain business
Suggestion
certain businesses
. Be more specific, for the society who have a business in
transportation sector
Suggestion
the transportation sector
. Taking a
rent
car
Accept comma addition
car, for
for example
,
Accept space
,
 in
this
 era
,
Accept space
,
 of course not at all society having a
car
 for travelling to somewhere and of course the
rent
Suggestion
rental
car
 was being the
second
 alternative to
travelling
Suggestion
travel
.
As a result
,
Accept space
,
 many inhabitants will come to the
rent
Suggestion
rental
car
 for
rent some
Accept comma addition
rent, some
 vehicles there
,
Accept space
,
 automatically the income will increase
everyday
Suggestion
every day
. On the other hands
,
Accept space
,
 having a
car
 was
also
has
Suggestion
having
 the negative sides.
Moreover
,
Accept space
,
 in
this
 era
,
Accept space
,
 pollutions is not
surprised
Suggestion
surprising
 for society anymore. According to the data in one of the websites
,
Accept space
,
 one of the
factor
Suggestion
factors
 that made the air became bad is the vehicles, especially for the four-
wheels
Suggestion
wheel
 vehicles
such
 a
cars
Suggestion
car
. Taking the Jakarta
for example
,
Accept space
,
 the number of the cars was not controlled.
Finally
,
Accept space
,
 the air condition is
extremly
to a high degree or extent; favorably or with much respect
extremely
 dangerous for the citizens who breathing there. In conclusion
,
Accept space
,
 I
trully
in accordance with truth or fact or reality
truly
 believe that having two sides
that is
 the positive impact and the negative effect to every single
perspection
the act of persecuting (especially on the basis of race or religion)
persecution
 in our life. [15:45, 9/4/2019] Ielts Septi:
Nowadays many
Accept comma addition
Nowadays, many
 people have a
car
 because there are some benefits of it and I totally agree with
this
 statement,
such
 as
:
Accept space
:
 a person who has a
car
 is able to save
money
 and earn
money
 from it albeit it will increase the number of congestion in a country. In
this
 era,
car
Suggestion
the car
 is
crussial
of extreme importance; vital to the resolution of a crisis
crucial
 thing which many people have it since it can
aid
make an addition (to); join or combine or unite with others; increase the quality, quantity, size or scope of
add
 them for saving
money
.
For instance
: in my country, If a family has
arounf
in the area or vicinity
around
 3-5
members and
Accept comma addition
members, and
 they want to go somewhere, they will use a
car
 because
it
it is
it's
 more economical than use public
transportation
 or motorcycle.
Moreover
,
this
 vehicle can make people to earn
money
 by renting it, or doing
transportation
 online like grab or
gojek
 which seems
loke
prefer or wish to do something
like
 new job is available for common people.
On the other hand
, the drawback if every family has a
car
, it will rise the percentage of traffic jam because the road will not
sufficient
Suggestion
suffice
 to accommodate all of
cars
Suggestion
the cars
.
For example
: in Jakarta, a lot of families have a
car
.
Furthermore
, the way still in same size and it is not enough to for all vehicles.
As a result
, Jakarta is
rank
Suggestion
ranked
 12 in the world as city of congestion. Despite
car
 will make congestion grow up in a country, I believe that
car
Suggestion
cars
 can lead more advantages
such
 as citizen can deposit due to
car
 more economical to use for many passengers and they are able to earn some
money
 because it will a job for people who is using it for
rent
 or online
transportation
.
Submitted by yasmin8830 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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