Some people think that schools have to be more entertaining, while others think that their sole purpose is to educate. Which do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is being argued by many that schools have to be entertaining
,
Accept space
,
while others believe the primary objective of schools is imparting education
.
Accept space
.
keeping
Suggestion
Keeping
in view both narratives
,
Accept space
,
I firmly believe with the former argument. The mind of a child can only absorb
limited amount
Suggestion
a limited amount
of knowledge by use of conventional ways of teaching
.
Accept space
.
It is of paramount importance that schools incorporate extra-curricular activities like singing and computer gaming classes between science lessons to keep the minds of children fresh and receptive
.
Accept space
.
To illustrate
,
Accept space
,
there was a documentary broadcasted few years back that showed children who indulged in extra-curricular activities in
school
Use synonyms
performed better in exams that students who focused solely on studies
through out
all the way through
throughout
school
Use synonyms
-time
.
Accept space
.
Thus
Linking Words
, introducing fun activities is the new addition to achieve
high rate
Suggestion
a high rate
high rates
of success among
school
Use synonyms
going children
.
Accept space
.
Another main reason is that entertainment facilities like musical concerts in
school
Use synonyms
can be linked to the performance of each individual
,
Accept space
,
so that children will be more enthusiastic as well as more inclined to perform better
.
Accept space
.
They will be more receptive towards study, they will work hard to enjoy the various fun activities provided within the
school
Use synonyms
premises
.
Accept space
.
As a result
Linking Words
of
this
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
the high achievers can be rewarded and it will promote a healthy competition as well
.
Accept space
.
To illustrate
,
Accept space
,
private schools in Pakistan are preferred over public
school
Use synonyms
because of these entertainment facilities
,
Accept space
,
as education is nearly the same
.
Accept space
.
All in all
,
Accept space
,
by providing entertainment
facilities schools
Accept comma addition
facilities, schools
can reward high achievers and increase their success percentages
.
Accept space
.
Submitted by hilalahmedk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: