IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment in essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? You should write at least 250 words

#minutes #punishment #death #penalty #lives #crimes #violence #control #society
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Before talking about the essential role of death
penalty
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, you have to think about the meaning, and the purpose, of any kind of
punishment
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. If you consider that the purpose is to prevent the guilty from being nasty again, you can be seduced by an argumentation in favour of the suppression of capital
punishment
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. But you have to think about another aspect of the problem: a
punishment
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 is
also
Linking Words
 useful to impress people, to make them fear the law. In fact, let's take the example of a young misfit, which has grown in a violent atmosphere, influenced by older delinquents,
etc
continuing in the same way
etc.
...
Accept space
...
 He lives in the streets, he's got no aim but to survive.
This
Linking Words
 is the kind of person who could possibly kill someone for money, or even for fun
...
Accept space
...
 Why would he fear prison? Life would be easier for him there.
In addition
Linking Words
, in many cases, when you behave normally, you can benefit from
penalty
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 reductions.
This
Linking Words
 young misfit needs to be impressed, he needs to know that the law is a frontier. When you cross it, you can lose your life.
That is
Linking Words
 why capital
punishment
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 helps keeping a distance between robbery and murder. If you abolish it, you suppress the difference between these two types of crime, which are completely different. But there is
also
Linking Words
 a limit to define: even if
death
Suggestion
the death penalty
penalty
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 is unavoidable, it would be a crime to apply it to inadequate cases. If there is no premeditation or past facts which can justify
such
Linking Words
 a
punishment
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, it is far too strict to apply
death
Suggestion
the death penalty
penalty
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.
That is
Linking Words
 why the lawmakers have to establish precisely the context in which capital
punishment
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 car be pronounced.
That is
Linking Words
 the price to pay to limit violence without using excessive violence.
Submitted by zufarovma on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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