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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some say that it is better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of traveling to workplace every day. Do you think that the advantages of working at home outweigh the disadvantages?

#say #majority #employees #home #workplace
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Many people assume that better to
work
 at
home
 than go to the
office
 each day, and I believe that
work
 at workplace gives more advantages
such
 as more concentration and reduce stress, whereas
teleworking
 provides a distraction from their family. On the one hand, some workers believe that they will get more focus when working at the
office
 because that place is full of people who have the same purpose
such
 as colleagues, managers and a boss. So, it is a suitable area to only think about their task and forget about their problems at
home
.
Moreover
, due to the associates there, they will help each other when there is something
problem
Suggestion
problematic
 in their task,
as a result
, I will decrease the number of employee stress. As an example, in the United Kingdom, people tend to commute every day for working since at the
office
, they will obtain the concentration in their task and if they are facing a case, their friend will help to tackle that.
Hence
, the rate of workers stressful there is low.
On the other hand
,
inhabitants
Suggestion
the inhabitants
 who are working at
home
 (teleworking) will get a serious drawback which they will get disruption from family,
in particular
, their children. As we know that kids always need attention from their parents, not only for primary activities like feeding, or bathe them but
also
 they need parents to play together. The consequence, it will have an impact for
occupation especially
Accept comma addition
occupation, especially
 the duty and if
this
 condition still continues they will lose a chance to earn money. To sum up, albeit others think better to
work
 at
home
instead
 to go
office
 each day, but in my personal opinion
work
 at the workplace gives more focus and decline the workers' pressure.
Submitted by haryatiseptiani on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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