IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

“Prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventive measures. To what extent do you agree?

#“prevention #cure” #diseases #measures
A huge amount from the
health
budget
 goes into the
treatment
 of various diseases. It is believed that the same investment should be made on
prevention
 rather than
treatment
. My agreement with
this
 opinion is only partial as I believe diseases would not entirely be eradicated and the need for
treatment
 would be ever-present.
Prevention
 of diseases helps the masses in avoiding a number of
health
 issues. According to a survey conducted by the International Society of Physicians, around 90% of the heart diseases are an outcome of inadequate
prevention
. The survey ascertained that if the people had avoided the use of unhealthy food, most of the heart disease cases could have been prevented. If the
health
budget
 is spent on providing healthy food to the people and taking precautions against the viral infections, a lot of diseases can be prevented. In spite of all of its benefits,
prevention
 cannot entirely replace
treatment
 as it does not ensure 100% eradication of diseases. There is a small percentage of diseases that would always slip through the cracks and the patients would need cure against it.
Therefore
, it would not be feasible to spend the entire
health
budget
 on
prevention
 while overlooking upon the
treatment
.
Moreover
, the diseases have an evolutionary nature and they become stronger by the day. A number of studies have proven that the diseases humankind is facing today have evolved over the past years.
Hence
, scientists need a continual research to learn the
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 of the diseases and the ways to cure them. In conclusion, I believe that reallocation of the
health
budget
 toward disease
prevention
 is a good idea.
However
, as
prevention
 would not be able to eradicate the disease, expenditure on cure would always be a necessity for the
health
 sector.
Submitted by hannanalikhan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: