Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career,while others belive that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People are divided in their opinions regarding the necessity of tertiary
education
in the 21st century in order to attain a successful career. While
some believe that gaining employment straight after school is the key to favorable
results in one’s occupation, I opine that without a bachelor's diploma, it is tough to be prosperous.
As far as I am concerned, a multitude of Change the spelling
favourable
individuals
prefer getting a job as soon as they graduate school for several reasons. First and foremost, it is a great opportunity to attain financial and personal independence from one's parents. Adolescents working can cover all their expenses and acknowledge the value of money themselves. Another factor to consider is the opportunity to supply their families with all essential pieces of equipment using their hard-earned cash. Subsequently
, they can assist their relatives in purchasing household products and become valuable members of the household. As evidence, I have heard that a 19-year-old teenage boy purchased a brand-new expensive car for his mother by working in a cyber sports team without receiving a higher education
diploma after graduating school
. Change preposition
from school
This
indicates that in rare cases, individuals
can achieve success in their lives without attending university.
Nevertheless
, in order to achieve appropriate results in their individual careers, they ought to graduate from tertiary education
with reliable grades. A majority of employers choose their subordinates based on their academic achievements due to
their reinforced comprehension of significant aspects of their daily theoretical and practical tasks. To cite an example, when it comes to applying for a well-paid profession, individuals
need to provide their documents, which can demonstrate their prospects for realizing an efficient breakthrough in a reputable company. As a consequence
, a person who has graduated from an institution will always have an advantage in society compared to those who are illiterate. Whether it involves straightforward conversations on common topics or difficult scientific matters, those individuals
who experienced university life will prevail.
Weighing both sides of the argument, in order to hold a profitable profession with countless benefits for one’s career, individuals
need to be committed to continuing their education
through
studying at university.Change preposition
by
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay should include more specific examples to strengthen the arguments presented. For instance, provide statistical data or studies that support the necessity of tertiary education for career success.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain a logical flow. This can be achieved by employing transitional phrases such as 'furthermore,' 'moreover,' or 'however.'
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, it could be enhanced by summarizing key points in the conclusion more effectively. Reiterate the main arguments briefly.
task achievement
The argument supporting direct employment after school could be elaborated upon to include more diverse reasoning. Discuss potential fields or industries where this path might be more beneficial.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt, discussing both views and giving a personal opinion.
task achievement
The ideas presented in the essay are clear and comprehensive, making it easy to follow the writer's arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and contribute to the overall coherence of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!