IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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These days, there has been a growing debate about mandating a set portion of individual earnings to charitable organizations. Many believe that
this
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 practice might create various benefits to society,
while
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 some argue that it leads to several drawbacks. In my opinion, I disagree with the statement
due to
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 numerous factors, which will be detailed in
this
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 essay. To commence, forcing citizens to donate has brought a myriad of disadvantages. The primary problem is a lack of personal choice.
In other words
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, people should have the right to consider providing money for those who are in need, depending on their financial well-being, which absolutely reduces individual freedom.
Moreover
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,
such
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 a practice disproportionately affects medium-income individuals, who might have more financial difficulties.
For instance
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, allocating 5% of employees’ wages regardless of financial status criteria would cause average or low-income staff to be unable to utilize their earnings to enhance their living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, there are many benefits from
this
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 implementation.
Firstly
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, it fosters a culture of generosity, nurturing community spirit and a sense of responsibility, which leads to a better society’s well-being.
As well as
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this
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, a decline in inequality in living conditions is another advantage, creating a bridge between socioeconomic groups. A good example of
this
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 is the law in diverse developed countries where the wealthy must pay higher taxes to help the homeless and underprivileged groups, promoting social welfare. In conclusion,
while
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 some may argue that giving a fixed portion of an individual’s income to non-profit companies gives rise to financial equality and community responsibility, I strongly disagree with
such
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 an opinion and believe that it would create various challenges, including a lack of citizen freedom and financial difficulty, particularly average residents.

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on personal experiences or real-world examples to provide substantial evidence for the argument. This will strengthen the persuasiveness of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea to maintain better cohesion. Although the coherence is good, a slight improvement in logical flow between sentences could aid understanding.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps present the argument effectively.
task achievement
The various aspects of both agreeing and disagreeing with the statement are well covered, providing a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Relevant arguments are presented logically, and the ideas are clear and easy to follow. Each point is supported by reasoning.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic equality
  • Wealth gap
  • Redistributing resources
  • Social responsibility
  • Mandatory donations
  • Financial strain
  • Voluntary donations
  • Morality
  • Ethics
  • Efficient use of resources
  • Sporadic contributions
  • Implementation challenges
  • Compliance
  • Fixed amount
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