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Band 5

Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your experience.

#believe #people #work #age #retirement
In recent years, with the improvement in
healthcare sector
Suggestion
the healthcare sector
 and better living standards, people are able to live longer and contribute to the economic progress of a nation more, compared to the past. Some see
this
 as an entirely positive development, while others point out the drawbacks of working beyond the
retirement
age
. Delaying
retirement
 enables individuals to actively contribute to the society. On a personal level, working past
retirement
age
 provides an avenue for individuals to remain not only physically but
also
 mentally active.
Moreover
,
this
 option empowers the ageing
population
 to be financially independent and economically self-sustainable past
retirement
age
. In countries with
growing ageing
Suggestion
a growing ageing population
population
such
 as Singapore,
for instance
, citizens are given an option to
work
 beyond their
retirement
age
 based on the demands of their job and their capability to handle these tasks.
Hence
, working beyond
retirement
age
 empowers workers, ensures economic progression of the nation, and alleviates the challenges faced by an ageing
population
. On the flip side, working beyond the
retirement
age
 may result in adverse
health
 impacts on workers and a decrease in productivity levels. In Japan, the suicide rates
have recently been increasing
Suggestion
have recently increased
 due to rising stress levels at
work
 faced by the ageing
population
 who are pushed to
work
 beyond their optimal capacity. Escalating stress levels from
work
 leads to various
health
 complications putting a strain on the healthcare system.
Hence
, working beyond
retirement
age
 may worsen the overall welfare of individuals and adversely impact the economy. To sum up, though working beyond
retirement
age
 imposes
health
 hazards leading to
reduction
Suggestion
a reduction
 in productivity levels, the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages. By assessing the capability of individuals and tailoring their jobs to their
health
 profile, firms and companies could still actively involve their workers to be productive beyond their
retirement
age
.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retirement age
  • pension systems
  • financial security
  • physical and mental health
  • youth unemployment
  • job opportunities
  • fresh perspectives
  • hobbies and interests
  • passionate workers
  • flexible retirement options
  • social security
  • recuperate
  • decades of hard work
  • contribute skills and experience
  • financial difficulties
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