IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many people believe that social networking sites like Facebook have had a negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #sites #facebook #impact #individuals #society
In these days, with the advent of technology, social networking sites
such
 as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram are becoming increasingly popular. Some masses believe that these sites have a negative impact on the individuals and the community. I agree with the notion that social networking sites have a negative
effects
Suggestion
effect
 and explain reasons in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
 with, there
are
Suggestion
is
reason
Suggestion
a reason
the reason
 why social networking sites have
adverse impact
Suggestion
an adverse impact
 on individuals. The
first
 and the predominant reason is that
people
Suggestion
peoples'
 relationships have become shallow. Most of the individuals spend a lot of
time
 online so they do not have
time
 to visit their friends or relatives.
For example
, in the past
time
 people used to get together at least once a month, but nowadays most of the folks do not know many of their relatives.
Hence
, there
are
Suggestion
is
 no close relationship in
this
 era.
Moreover
, there are
also
 negative effect on the local community. The majority of the people waste hours in front of laptops or smartphones chatting on Facebook with
this
 they fail to pay attention to their work.
For instance
, students do not perform
best
Suggestion
better
 in exams because they spend more
time
 on computers or mobile
instead
 of studying.
As a result
, social networking sites hinder the progress of the community. In conclusion,
although
 Facebook and other sites have their own
merits
Accept comma addition
merits, however
however
, l
strongly agree
Suggestion
strongly agrees
 that social networking sites have more detrimental effects on both the individuals and society. People ought to used properly so that they obtain more merits rather than demerits.
Submitted by naresh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • face-to-face
  • interactions
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • polarize
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • procrastination
  • productivity
  • social isolation
  • dissemination
  • breeding ground
  • vast amounts
  • personal information
  • mental health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: