Medical technology is responsible for an increase in human's life expectancy. Is it a boon or a curse for the mankind?

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The importance of increasing life expectancy
due to
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the development in the medical world which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is a boon
while
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others believe that it is a curse. The substantial influence of
this
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trend has sparked controversy over its potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, the latter proposition appears to be more rational.
This
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essay will elaborate on my viewpoints for favouring the negative impact of
this
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trend and
thus
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will lead to a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
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, the first and foremost reason behind
this
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is that aged people are more prone to diseases, so there is an increased financial burden on families. Another striking reason in
this
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regard is that government expenditure on pensions increases. These financial resources can be used for other better purposes. Categorically, it cannot be ignored that it
also
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increases the medical bills of the government. Probing ahead, one of the main underlying reasons stems from the fact that with increased life expectancy, unemployment among the young generation will multiply drastically. Moving
further
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, it is pertinent to mention that it
also
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hampers growth and productivity.
Moreover
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, older people work with outdated technology. Apart from the reasons mentioned above, it can be clearly stated why many are against
this
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trend. To recapitulate,
according to
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the arguments aforementioned above, one can conclude that the drawbacks of acceleration in life expectancy
due to
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sufficiently advanced medical technologies are indeed too dire to ignore.
Submitted by jagdeepsingh3699 on

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task achievement
The essay lacks clarity in the introduction and a definitive stance on whether the topic is a boon or a curse. This creates confusion and weakens the argumentative structure of the piece.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion is weak and does not adequately summarize the main points discussed. A stronger, clearer conclusion would reinforce your arguments and provide a satisfying ending to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Whilst the structure of paragraphs is evident, transitions between them are abrupt and affect the essay's readability. Consider using smoother transitional phrases to guide readers from one idea to the next.
task achievement
Your main points lack adequate support and development with specific examples and evidence. It's important to elaborate further and provide concrete examples to substantiate your claims.
task achievement
The essay fails to present a balanced view on the matter, focusing predominantly on negative aspects without considering the positive side of increased life expectancy. Balance is key in a discussion essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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