A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities.

#country #population #mixture #nationalities

It is common belief that having a mixture of nationalities allows a country to develop more quickly and make it more interesting. In my perspective, I completely agree

this

view for many reasons. One of the most worth-mentioning reason is multicultural. When people who is from foreign countries immigrate to a country like the USA, they

also

take their culture into one.

This

can lead to a various

lifestyles

Suggestion

lifestyle

which reflect their characteristics. That can make people more exciting and freedom to choose what things are suitable for them.

For example

, people live in

highly diversity area

Suggestion

a highly diverse area

highly diverse area

, they can easier to choose traditional cuisine that they like.

Moreover

, they

can talk different

Suggestion

can talk to different

people in their communities, thereby improving their ability to communicate more effectively in a variety of contexts. Another reason why I hold

this

view is advantages for local companies. It can be seen that each ethnic group

have

Suggestion

has

different strengths. Indeed, if a company need to

overcomes

Suggestion

overcome

some problems that they face in the market, they should aggregate all opinions.

As a result

, each person can give a comment which

base

Suggestion

bases

is based

on their experiences, including the strengths in their culture. Following that, the manager can easier to analysis what it can solve for each problem.

Furthermore

, in order to spread products or services to other countries, the

corporate

Suggestion

corporation

would ask their staff who was born and raise in these countries about life and culture. By doing it, the can understand local citizen, making logical strategy in their business plan. In conclusion, I strongly believe that a combination immigrants

from

Suggestion

nationalities can

provides

Suggestion

provide

many benefits for a country.

This

is due to the abundant

life it

Accept comma addition

life, it

creates and help local people develop their

economic

Suggestion

economies

economy

Submitted by Thanh on Mon Apr 15 2019

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities.

Your opinion

Films and games can be accessed at any time from mobile devices like smart phones, tablets and laptop computer. Do the advantages of such development outweigh the disadvantage? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Computers are becoming an essential part of school lessons. Do the advantages of using computers for learning outweigh its disadvantages?

Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shops and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In most countries, young people form a large proportion of those who are unemployed. Why this is the case, and what can be done to solve the problem?

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.