IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Fossil fuels are the main source of energy around the world. However, people are being encouraged to use alternative energy sources such as wind energy, solar energy and so on. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Why?

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Fossil fuels are the primary
energy
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 source around the globe. Yet, people are being asked to shift towards the utilization of
alternative
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energy
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sources
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,
such
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 as wind and solar
energy
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. The use of
alternative
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energy
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sources
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 has a positive effect because fossil fuels may be dearth in the upcoming years.
However
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, there is still a problem regarding the price-to-efficiency ratio of
alternative
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power
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 source usage. I personally agree with the latter statement
due to
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 the economic disadvantage renewable
energy
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power
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sources
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 have. Fossil fuels are made from non-renewable resources,
such
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 as coal, which may not be as abundant as it is now in the future. It takes thousands of years to produce the raw materials by natural process. We can see clearly now in Indonesia that fossil fuel prices have been rising significantly over the
last
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 decade, indicating a limited amount of supply available. If fossil fuel consumption does not decrease, humans may not have enough stock of resources for the centuries ahead.
On the contrary
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, the output efficiency that
alternative
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power
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 generators provide is not high compared to its expensive cost. The use of renewable
energy
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sources
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 may be very expensive to install, run, and maintain.
For instance
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, solar cell panels can only absorb less than a quarter of the
energy
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 provided by the sunlight. The fact that the equipment is very expensive to install, adds a reason why solar cell
power
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 plants are unfavorable compared to coal-based
power
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 plants.
To conclude
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, humans may need an
alternative
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energy
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 source because non-renewable resources are limited in supply.
However
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, the cost to operate a renewable
power
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 plant is still very expensive, considering the low output efficiency.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating on the positive effects of renewable energy beyond resource scarcity. Discuss aspects like environmental benefits, sustainability, or technological advancements.
task achievement
Clarify economic disadvantages by providing more specific data or examples. How does this issue compare globally? Are there recent studies that might help?
coherence cohesion
Try to unify your ideas for smoother transition from one point to another. Consider using clearer linking words and phrases to connect thoughts.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly introduces the topic and states your position, providing a good roadmap for the reader.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples, such as the situation in Indonesia and the efficiency of solar panels, to support your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuels
  • alternative energy sources
  • wind energy
  • solar energy
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • environmental benefits
  • reduction of greenhouse gas emissions
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable energy
  • energy independence
  • energy security
  • cost challenges
  • infrastructure challenges
  • reliability issues
  • intermittency issues
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