In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

In present days,
obesity
is became
Suggestion
has become
is becoming
becomes
a core
problem
for some nations, as well as it has created harmful effects on physical health and
mentally
Suggestion
mental
. Eating junk food and lack of
exercise
are common reason to increase average weight, while doing
exercise
and government create awareness are measured to solve
this
problem
. With regard to people are suffering
obesity
problem
whose has
faces
Suggestion
faced
lots of
barrier
Suggestion
barriers
in their life.
In contrast
, there are several sorts of reasons
to
Suggestion
for
obesity
Accept comma addition
obesity, such
such
as, nowadays residents are becoming more lazy than previous
,
Accept space
,
also
they are less interest so doing physical
exercise
, as well as some individuals eating excessive levels fast food which makes them
over weight
usually describes a large person who is fat but has a large frame to carry it
overweight
.
Additionally
, people
are spend
Suggestion
are spending
spend
have spent
majority
Suggestion
the majority
a majority
of time in sitting a chair in front of computer at
office which
Suggestion
the office, which
the office which
created their hormone imbalance to
helping
Suggestion
help
increase
obesity
problem
.
On the other hand
, causes of
obesity they are
Suggestion
obesity, they are
facing some barrier in their normal life,
for
instance they
Accept comma addition
instance, they
are effects several disease that’s reason every year died lots of people through
this
obesity
,
similarly
some specific countries people are most affected
in
Suggestion
by
this
section
Furthermore
, people have own
responsible
Suggestion
responsibilities
responsibility
to get back from
obesity
by himself, even though
government
Suggestion
the government
should create awareness against it,
such
as campaigning in
rural area
Suggestion
a rural area
about some basic knowledge of
obesity
and government should get free treatment in
obesity
Suggestion
obese
people.
Moreover
, people have to
changes
Suggestion
change
their eating habit,
for
example avoiding
Accept comma addition
example, avoiding
junk food, eating vegetables,
also
doing
exercise
regular basis.
Additionally
, change their work place do physical works more. To sum up, present days are science and technology
era so
Accept comma addition
era, so
people
are spent
Suggestion
are spending
spend
more times on
computer
Suggestion
a computer
the computer
that’s reason they becoming faces more
obesity
, whereas people should create more awareness against
obesity
.
Submitted by Serhio Baraniuk on

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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