Some people think that it is necessary to travel to learn about other countries. Others feel same can be learnt through TV and internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, numerous
people
Use synonyms
have assumed that
television
Use synonyms
and the
internet
Use synonyms
could be
media
Use synonyms
transfers to study other
nations
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, there are individuals who believe that travelling abroad is the best way and essential to know more about other
nations
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both views and state my own opinion.
To begin
Linking Words
with, it is undeniable that some individuals believe that
television
Use synonyms
and the
internet
Use synonyms
could be
media
Use synonyms
for learning about other country and their cultures. There is a reason behind
this
Linking Words
statement. Since we live in a modern world in which all the information is easy to access and widespread on the
internet
Use synonyms
, is seen as a positive development for several
people
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they assume learning can be effective just through
media
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as Google on the
Internet
Use synonyms
, YouTube,
television
Use synonyms
, and radio.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they do not need to spend a lot of their money going abroad just to study the diversity which they can find in the
media
Use synonyms
too.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in my point of view, visiting overseas has plenty of advantages and essentials to get to know about the diversity in
this
Linking Words
world.
However
Linking Words
, technology has grown rapidly and travelling abroad become easier and more convenient.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
nowadays are more attracted to learning about other cultures and believe that travelling is more crucial than just learning it by screening.
Besides
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
visit other
nations
Use synonyms
, they will have two ways of communicating with local
people
Use synonyms
and other foreigners which is that you cannot find when you just surf on
television
Use synonyms
or other.
Moreover
Linking Words
, talking to other
people
Use synonyms
can enhance communication and know better about their culture. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
understanding other countries could be found on the
internet
Use synonyms
or by reading information. but I still believe travelling overseas is necessary in order to have a deep and full understanding of the culture in other
nations
Use synonyms

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay addresses both views and provides a position, it would benefit from more specific examples and detailed explanations to strengthen the arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and strong supporting sentences to improve coherence.
language
There are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases; revising for accuracy and fluency would enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand the main points being made.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: