Some people think that it is necessary to travel to learn about other countries. Others feel same can be learnt through TV and internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #travel #countries #learnt #tv #internet

In recent years, numerous

people

have assumed that

television

and the

internet

could be

media

transfers to study other

nations

. Meanwhile, there are individuals who believe that travelling abroad is the best way and essential to know more about other

nations

This

essay will discuss both views and state my own opinion.

To begin

with, it is undeniable that some individuals believe that

television

and the

internet

could be

media

for learning about other country and their cultures. There is a reason behind

this

statement. Since we live in a modern world in which all the information is easy to access and widespread on the

internet

, is seen as a positive development for several

people

Therefore

, they assume learning can be effective just through

media

such

as Google on the

Internet

, YouTube,

television

, and radio.

Moreover

, they do not need to spend a lot of their money going abroad just to study the diversity which they can find in the

media

too.

On the other hand

, in my point of view, visiting overseas has plenty of advantages and essentials to get to know about the diversity in

this

world.

However

, technology has grown rapidly and travelling abroad become easier and more convenient.

Therefore

people

nowadays are more attracted to learning about other cultures and believe that travelling is more crucial than just learning it by screening.

Besides

, when

people

visit other

nations

, they will have two ways of communicating with local

people

and other foreigners which is that you cannot find when you just surf on

television

or other.

Moreover

, talking to other

people

can enhance communication and know better about their culture. In conclusion,

although

understanding other countries could be found on the

internet

or by reading information. but I still believe travelling overseas is necessary in order to have a deep and full understanding of the culture in other

nations

Submitted by patricius.yohanes on Fri Jun 14 2024

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task achievement

While the essay addresses both views and provides a position, it would benefit from more specific examples and detailed explanations to strengthen the arguments.

coherence cohesion

Try to ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and strong supporting sentences to improve coherence.

language

There are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases; revising for accuracy and fluency would enhance clarity.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand the main points being made.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

312 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that it is necessary to travel to learn about other countries. Others feel same can be learnt through TV and internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The opinion exists that old buildings should be demolished to make way for modern structures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this?

Fast food advertisements can be found on TV and throughout social media, which tempts people to eat unhealthy food. Should fast food ads be banned

in some countries more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or buliding they live in. what are the reason for this? how can people research this?

Universities should take the same number of men and women in each major. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?