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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important enviromental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

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Nowadays
people
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 argue that the main environmental problem of our time is the extinction of some
species
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 in flora and fauna.
While
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, others say that there are more important and serious problems. In
this
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 essay, I will examine both perspectives before presenting my own opinion. On the one hand,some
people
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 believe that clean water,air pollution,natural disasters,and climate change are more important than loss of
species
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 in
wildlife
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such
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 as white rhinos and Bengal tigers.
To begin
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 with,deforestration is one of the crucial key for
wildlife
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 because it is home for the most of the animals and plants ,
in addition
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, it is essential for human life
due to
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 high oxygen production, and furniture companies are destroying it un stopping.
However
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,furniture companies are keep going cutting trees with large machines that
also
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 pollutes the air and all because of the high sales and profit.
In addition
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,the climate change is the most important problem that includes not only
people
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 but
also
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wildlife
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.
On the other hand
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, from the beginning of the life there were millions of
species
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 disappeared,
however
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 these numbers increased when humans began developing and settling down to untouched territories that been used to be home of some endemic animals and plants.Althrough,
people
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 have learned by their mistakes and started to regenerate the endangered
species
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.
For example
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,in the
last
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 century the number of pandas almost decreased to 50,
however
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 by the help of the Chinese government zoos with professional workes have been build,and now pandas are not in danger of dissapearing.
To sum up
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,in my opinion,both sides are rightful because if
wildlife
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 gets damaged
also
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 we would suffer from
this
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.Our activities and mistakes makes today harder to live in our planet for every living thing.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure clear paragraph structure, with a topic sentence introducing each paragraph followed by supporting sentences that develop the main idea.
Coherence & Cohesion
Connect ideas and paragraphs with appropriate cohesive devices. Aim to use a variety of linking words beyond basic connectors like 'and', 'but', or 'so'.
Task Achievement
Make sure you fully address the task by discussing both views presented in the question and providing your own opinion clearly.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas fully with explanations, reasons, and relevant examples. Make sure the examples you provide clearly support the point you're making.
Language Accuracy
Work on the accuracy of language, including grammar and vocabulary, to enhance the clarity of your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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