The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. schools should cut art and music out of their curriculum so that the children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree?

Todays
Suggestion
Today's
children are tomorrow's citizen and to make them into well rounded adults, education plays a key role in turning them. A significant amount of people think that in order to become a complete modern men academic studies has to be mandatory, excluding all other extra curricular activities. While others opine that they should have other things as well,
such
as sport and exercise.
To begin
with, the predominant factor that moulds a child into a developed older adolescents is schooling.
Firstly
, parents are the
first
persons to instill morals and ethics in younger lad's.
Additionally
, by studying various subjects offers
opportunity
Suggestion
an opportunity
opportunities
the opportunity
not only to learn various things that they enjoy or excel in but
also
thay
people in general
they
that
can choose subjects which helps in their future aspects.
Secondly
, a wide range of people
think
Suggestion
thinks
that other activities should be removed from the day-to- day schedule.
Consequently
, students have ample amount of
time
to concentrate on trending subjects
such
as information technology.
For instance
, APJ Abdul
kalam
Suggestion
Kalam
never wasted his
time
,
instead
he used that
on
Suggestion
in
for
performing research on missile technology.
On the other hand
, there
are
Suggestion
is
quiet a long people who
think
Suggestion
thinks
that spending some
time
on recreational activities will boost one's brain.
Therefore
,
performance
Suggestion
the performance
of the kids will be improved
.
Accept space
.
For example
, I used to read continuously
with out
in absence of
without
taking any break,
as a result
frequently I
fell
mat together and make felt-like
felt
sick and after utilizing some
time
in jogging, my mind started feeling
little
Suggestion
less
relaxed which made me to concentrate well on my academics.
Lastly
, working
through out
all the way through
throughout
the day on a single
thing no
Accept comma addition
thing, no
matter
what ever
one or some or every or all without specification
whatever
it is, will always bring the stress. To conclude, education is the major thing that prepare children for the modern era and
this
can be
acheived
to gain with effort
achieved
by managing the schedule, sport and exercises should
also
be included which keeps the lad's fit and help in bringing out the best from them.
Submitted by aj123kingmaker on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • cognitive abilities
  • cultural education
  • globally connected world
  • problem-solving skills
  • critical thinking
  • well-rounded education
  • self-expression
  • mental health impacts
  • digital art
  • music production
  • technology-driven careers
  • academic performance
  • intellectual growth
  • emotional development
  • creative subjects
  • enrich creativity
  • foster a sense of achievement
  • stress relief
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