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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Question: Some young children spend a great amount of their time practicing sports. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

#children #amount #time #sports #support
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As everything in life is like a coin that has two different sides, people must weigh the pros and cons before jumping to conclusions.
Nevertheless
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, some may adamantly believe that encouraging kids to allocate most of their
time
Use synonyms
 to play games, others will think that
such
Linking Words
 actions will have negative impacts as well.
This
Linking Words
 essay will elaborate both views. To start with, the majority of individuals would agree with the notion that playing games can be beneficial, especially in young
age
Use synonyms
.
First
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 and foremost, in order to stay physically and mentally fit, children are usually advised to do a variety of physical activities on
regular basis
Suggestion
a regular basis
. According to a recent study published in the New England Journal of medicine in 2018, children who spend more than ten hours weekly exercising either indoor or outdoor tend to grow faster and become less vulnerable to acquiring diseases.
This
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 is because the youngsters playing games like running and jumping will have a stronger immune system, and will gain few
centimeters
a metric unit of length equal to one hundredth of a meter
centimetres
 more than their peers who spend less
time
Use synonyms
 practicing.
In addition
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 to staying healthy and in a good shape, playing sports early can shape one`s future.
In other words
Linking Words
, most of the famous athletes nowadays started practicing sports
in
Suggestion
at
 the
age
Use synonyms
 of six which allow them to become professionals.
For instance
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, Rafael Nadal, the famous tennis champion, began his journey in
sports world
Suggestion
the sports world
 at the
age
Use synonyms
 of six, he played different games until he realized that tennis is his passion. If he didn`t start
early
Suggestion
earlier
, he wouldn`t have become the hero we know today.
On the other hand
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, exercising too much can sometimes be detrimental.
To begin
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 with, by spending most of their
time
Use synonyms
 playing, children will not have sufficient
time
Use synonyms
 for studying.
Consequently
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, children who study less tend to get lower grades in
school which
Accept comma addition
school, which
 will affect their performance and their overall grading as well.
Moreover
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, injuries incidences are likely to be higher among over-active kids. Take my brother as an example, he suffered from multiple fractures in the
age
Use synonyms
 of seven while doing Karate.
As a result
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, his absence during his school
time
Use synonyms
 increased significantly and could not compensate what he missed and ended up with very low grades. Long story short, it is advisable to always balance between practicing and relaxing in order to avoid any harms. In sum,
however
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 playing sports longer periods improves the quality of life and the career pathway of youngsters, failure to manage between practicing and resting could lead to
sever
intensely or extremely bad or unpleasant in degree or quality
severe
 hazards
such
Linking Words
 as bad performance in school and may accidently increase the risk of injuries.
Submitted by drahmedamer_2010 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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