There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

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It is true that
music
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plays an important role in our
life
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especially traditional
music
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which expresses our culture, costumes and values. I would argue that traditional
music
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plays
more crucial role
Suggestion
a more crucial role
than commercial
music
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.
Music
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is a vital part of our
life
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. It accompanies with most of us throughout our
life
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as it is a way of expressing our feelings as well as emotions. Some people consider
music
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as a way to escape from their pain, to heal their mind, their body and their spirit.
In addition
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,
music
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is a source of entertainment which allows people to reduce stress and gives people relief. As children, people are taught to sing a song as a mean of learning a language or form of entertainment.
As a result
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, some songs become their
favorites
something regarded with special favor or liking
favourites
and be part of their
lives
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life
, stick with their own memories or event. In my opinion, traditional
music
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is more valued over the international
music
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as it expresses the tradition, culture or the history of a country.
By contrast
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, international
music
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is considered as a commercial products which are marketed and sold by business people. Traditional
music
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also bring
Suggestion
also brings
education values
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education, values
which reminds young generations of their origin.
For instance
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, folk
music
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always give
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always gives
us a chance to feel the family bond, mother bond etc. In conclusion,
music
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plays an important part of human
life
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. While international
music
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are
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is
more popular in terms of commercial perspectives, traditional
music
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gives us
chance
Suggestion
a chance
the chance
to come back old days with traditional values.
Submitted by Thanh on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional release
  • cultural significance
  • globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • technology
  • preservation
  • cultural heritage
  • social cohesion
  • expression
  • consumption
  • production
  • traditional music
  • international music
  • diversity
  • identity
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