There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

#music #world #country

It is true that

music

plays an important role in our

life

especially traditional

music

which expresses our culture, costumes and values. I would argue that traditional

music

plays

more crucial role

Suggestion

a more crucial role

than commercial

music

Music

is a vital part of our

life

. It accompanies with most of us throughout our

life

as it is a way of expressing our feelings as well as emotions. Some people consider

music

as a way to escape from their pain, to heal their mind, their body and their spirit.

In addition

music

is a source of entertainment which allows people to reduce stress and gives people relief. As children, people are taught to sing a song as a mean of learning a language or form of entertainment.

As a result

, some songs become their

favorites

something regarded with special favor or liking

favourites

and be part of their

lives

Suggestion

life

, stick with their own memories or event. In my opinion, traditional

music

is more valued over the international

music

as it expresses the tradition, culture or the history of a country.

By contrast

, international

music

is considered as a commercial products which are marketed and sold by business people. Traditional

music

also bring

Suggestion

also brings

education values

Accept comma addition

education, values

which reminds young generations of their origin.

For instance

, folk

music

always give

Suggestion

always gives

us a chance to feel the family bond, mother bond etc. In conclusion,

music

plays an important part of human

life

. While international

music

are

Suggestion

more popular in terms of commercial perspectives, traditional

music

gives us

chance

Suggestion

a chance

the chance

to come back old days with traditional values.

Submitted by Thanh on Wed Apr 24 2019

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

emotional release
cultural significance
globalization
cultural exchange
technology
preservation
cultural heritage
social cohesion
expression
consumption
production
traditional music
international music
diversity
identity

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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The government should pay for the course fees for everyone who wants to study at the university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Your friend just had a baby. You decided to prepare a present for them. Write a letter and say : 1. Congratulate your friend 2. Ask when would be possible for you to visit 3. Ask what present they would like.

Some people think that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others believe that businesses mainly benefit.

The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit. What are the causes of this? How can we reduce smoking in society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Report research suggests that the majority of criminals who were sent to prison would commit crimes when set free. IV) Why has it happened? What should be done to solve this problem?