some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that measure are required. discuss both these views and give your opinion.

These days, the
number
of diseases is
incresing
becoming greater or larger
increasing
day
by
day
, and it is increasing because of
plethora
Suggestion
a plethora
of reasons. It is a need to take some steps to control these diseases. I think that the best way to improve public
health
is by taking some measures
such
as control the traffic, control deforestation, limited
the
Suggestion
number
number
of industries, stop the pollution of water, air and noise etc.
rather
Suggestion
Rather
than increasing the
number
of sports facilities. To embark, I believe that environment plays a vital role in people's
health
, so there is a need to improve the environment which is very beneficial to the public and
environment
Suggestion
the environment
can be
improve
Suggestion
improved
by the
number
of factors
such
as afforestation,
for example
, if a country plants more than 20 trees in a
day
so it is fruitful for everyone. By controlling the amount of pollutions which is
produce
Suggestion
produced
by different industries everyday can improve the public
health
, it is a great deal for countries to minimise the amount of pollutants from industries because we are living in the era of industrialisation and globalisation. Other factors, for illustration, by reducing the usage of air conditioner and
refrigerators etc
Accept comma addition
refrigerators, etc.
refrigerators etc.
because global warming is reached at its highest peak and by
this
, the ozone layer is depleting
day
by
day
which is detrimental for everyone.
However
, some people think that by increasing the
number
of sports facilities, the public
health
will improve because
health
can
also
improve by exercising,
for example
, some people damage their
health
due to the lack of exercise and they eat lots of junk food.
so
to a very great extent or degree
So
they think by increasing the
number
of sports facilities, one can improve his
health but
Accept comma addition
health, but
I disagree with them because exercising
is depend
Suggestion
depends
on
individual's motivation
Suggestion
the individual's motivation
, so it is great to establish some programmes for awareness of people for
doing
the act that results in something coming to be
making
exercise rather than increasing sports facilities. To sum up, some steps should be taken for
improve
Suggestion
improving
improved
the public
health
like smoking should be banned and like start the environmental friendly programmes.
Submitted by nmnarora9 on

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next: