Multicultural societies in which there are a mixture of ethnic people bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Migration of people

Suggestion

various part of the world is becoming increasingly popular.

Consequently

Linking Words

, people end up settling in communities where they share

different cultural background

Suggestion

a different cultural background

. Many believe there are more advantages of inhabiting in

such

Linking Words

a multicultural

community

Use synonyms

than the potential setbacks that may arise. I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

view.

This

Linking Words

is because the problem that may emerge can be overcome and cultural mix leads societal development. The fear of losing cultural heritage is

one

Use synonyms

major issue that makes individuals believe that mixing with other people with different ethnicity may be a drawback for them. They think new immigrant may not respect their culture and

this

Linking Words

could lead to clashes between them.

However

Linking Words

, they are unaware that these issues have solutions. The local government or

community

Use synonyms

members can organise induction programs to keep the

new comers

any new participant in some activity

newcomers

informed on the land's cultural beliefs. Pamphlets can

also

Linking Words

be distributed to each immigrant telling them about the cultures of their new society.

This

Linking Words

way people will learn and respect the

culture thereby

Accept comma addition

culture, thereby

avoiding unnecessary conflict. In

Africa

Accept comma addition

Africa, for

for instance

Linking Words

, describing a lady as fat is not conceived as being disrespectful unlike in places in the Europe where it is not tolerated.

Suggestion

one

Use synonyms

is aware of

this

Linking Words

one

Use synonyms

may avoid

such

Linking Words

words in an environment like that. And

this

Linking Words

will prevent any misunderstanding that may arise. Having a clear understanding of both cultures makes it easier for people to become accommodating, but could

this

Linking Words

be the benefits? No. When people with different background live together they share knowledge and skills from the various

culture

Suggestion

cultures

This

Linking Words

produces new techniques employed in carrying out some specific processes

such

Linking Words

as building constructions.

In addition

Linking Words

, it

also

Linking Words

improves the lifestyle of the

community

Use synonyms

and

this

Linking Words

generally results in

community

Use synonyms

development.

For example

Linking Words

, people from

eastern part

Suggestion

the eastern part

of Nigeria are generally good entrepreneurs and their migration to places like Lagos has made the state

one

Use synonyms

of the biggest commercial cities of Africa.

Indigenes

Suggestion

Indulgence

have

Suggestion

has also been

had also been

also

Linking Words

been able to learn these skills, and

this

Linking Words

has resulted in an enormous growth in the state’s income. In summary, there

are

Suggestion

more merit

Suggestion

having a multicultural society if people know how to deal with the issues that may arise. New skills acquisition and

community

Use synonyms

growth are the major advantages when we embrace people with different ethnic background.

Serhii Baraniuk

Apr 29, 2019

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

388 words

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