IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reason and examples.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations #reason
Some curricula need to be included in learning
history
 to confirm that the
students
 gain expertise. The argument is divided into two perspectives: the importance of local or world
history
. Both have the same merits;
this
 essay will explain them in detail based on experience. Learning local
history
 leads the
students
 to know about the best practices used by their founders to rule the nations with the state systems and become developed countries.
Students
 need to see
this
 subject because, in the future, every nation will face some uncertainty problems, and the decisions created by their founders could be considered to solve those problems in the future.
For example
, in Indonesia, the state systems have changed from the colonialization era to the new order era. At present, Indonesia has a stable system and is a democratic nation.
Therefore
, learning
history
 is essential for
students
 because they will be decision-makers for their countries.
On the other hand
, learning international
history
also
 significantly impacts
students
 in the middle of the globalization era. The student will know that some nations create bilateral or multilateral agreements with other countries because there is only a nation that can stand up to be a developed
country
 with support from other nations in terms of exchanging knowledge in economy, technology, education, health, etc, In conclusion, the statement to learn local and world
history
 is essential.
While
 the knowledge to rule the
country
 by the policy will be taken from
this
 subject, the experience of why the
country
 becomes a developed
country
 needs to be known by the student to increase ability as a decision-maker in the middle of globalization.
Submitted by 2024successielts on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider organizing your essay with a clear introduction, a minimum of two body paragraphs each discussing a distinct viewpoint, and a conclusion to summarize your perspective. Use cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
To fully meet the task response criteria, your essay must address all parts of the prompt more explicitly. State both views comprehensively, with examples, and provide a clear opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: