IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion?

#money #time
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The majority of people think that having abundant
money
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 and less free
time
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 is the best way to spend
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life
Suggestion
a life
.
However
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, some think that, earning enough
money
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 and investing more
time
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 for
life
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 is another way of living
leisure
Suggestion
the leisure life
life
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. In my opinion, both points have their own positive as well as negative aspects, but spending more quality spells with enough
money
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 is always better in order to find satisfaction in
life
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.
To begin
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 with,
money
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 in the form of the cash or property balances the lives in every way.
Life
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 will be more stress-free if we have a huge amount of cash to buy anything we want or just simply spend on normal things
such
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 as clothes, shoes, designer
jewelry
an adornment (as a bracelet or ring or necklace) made of precious metals and set with gems (or imitation gems)
jewellery
Jewelry
 etc.
However
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, on the other side of the coin, we should accept that there will be less
time
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 for family and friends, which is sometimes critical to handle when it comes to the personal relations or family level.
This
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 statement can be understood clearly by
this
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 example, according to a survey reported in the Times journal about the rich people’s
life
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 and its state, that 37% of rich families have poor family relations due to less leisure
time
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 with their loved one.
Nevertheless
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, the people who really love to give their maximum
time
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 in order to enjoy their relations with less income result in satisfying
life
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 too. But, sometimes or most of the times they have to compromise their
life
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 in term of shopping, luxurious things, home, cars, bikes and clothes etc. Let’s review an example, the television and media company Sony interviewed around 500 middle-class families in their show named leisure. They have been asked several questions about
money
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-
life
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 and satisfaction index, and
then
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 they came to conclude that, the people were so happy with enough
money
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 and they really do enjoy their relations and family
time
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. In conclusion,
money
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 cannot buy happiness and healthy relations which
clearly expounds
Suggestion
clearly expound
 that, earning lower income and enjoying more
time
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 with loved ones are always better than the more
money
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 and less free
time
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.
Submitted by rajvardhanmpatil on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • facilitating
  • lifestyle
  • professional development
  • increased stress
  • work-life balance
  • hobbies
  • quality time
  • physical and mental health
  • financial constraints
  • luxury items
  • overall well-being
  • personal growth
  • middle ground
  • sacrificing
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