In many countries, some students live with their families while studying, but other students prefer to attend universities in other cities. Do the advantages of living away from family outweigh its disadvantages for students?
Some
students
in many nations decide to live with their parents Use synonyms
while
pursuing their studies, Linking Words
whereas
others attend universities in different cities. From my perspective, the option of leaving family to move to different cities to study has both positive and negative effects for Linking Words
students
.
Living without parental interference can benefit Use synonyms
students
, including freedom and personal growth. Use synonyms
First,
it can generate a free lifestyle because Linking Words
students
will avoid parental restrictions, enabling them to explore activities they may not have experienced before. Use synonyms
For example
, some Linking Words
students
can attend social events, Use synonyms
such
as late-night study sessions at coffee shops, without parental observation. Linking Words
Second,
Linking Words
this
option allows them to have the opportunity to deal with difficulties in life, Linking Words
such
as the costs of accommodation and food, significantly sharpening their problem-solving skills and resilience.
Linking Words
However
, Linking Words
this
lifestyle has some drawbacks that need to be considered carefully. Linking Words
Firstly
, it causes a lack of emotional support. It means that Linking Words
students
leaving their families are prone to homesickness and isolation, negatively affecting their mental health and well-being. If Use synonyms
this
situation is prolonged, it leads to depression. Linking Words
For instance
, overseas Linking Words
students
frequently face stress Use synonyms
while
studying in another country because of the lack of sharing personal emotions. Linking Words
Secondly
, Linking Words
students
who live without the supervision of their parents can face financial burdens because spending a significant amount on services when living in modern cities is unavoidable. Use synonyms
Therefore
, Linking Words
instead
of dedicating themselves to academics, Linking Words
students
must work part-time to make enough financial resources to pay the cost of living, decreasing academic performance.
In conclusion, I believe that Use synonyms
although
living away from family can provide Linking Words
students
with freedom and personal growth, it can negatively affect their mental health Use synonyms
due to
financial problems and lack of sharing.Linking Words
Submitted by Mads on
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task achievement
In the section discussing drawbacks, elaborate more on how emotional support can play a critical role in students' lives, particularly in stressful academic situations.
task achievement
Ensure that each argument is supported by a specific example. Adding more examples, like those related to financial burdens, can strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Though the essay follows a logical structure, including transitions between paragraphs will help in maximizing coherence.
task achievement
The essay effectively starts by outlining both the positive and negative aspects of living away from family, indicating a balanced approach.
coherence cohesion
The introduction provides a clear overview of the main points that will be discussed, adhering to the task properly.
coherence cohesion
Each main point is logically placed and expanded with relevant explanations.