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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being over weight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society. How can this problem be solved.

#people #risk #health #weight #reason #growth #society
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The number of humans who are susceptible to serious health issues
as a result
Linking Words
 of being obese is rising. Why is
this
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 ugly trend on
this
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 rise and how can it be curtailed?
This
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 essay will discuss both questions in detail. The major cause of obesity today is the availability of cheap fast foods. Unlike in the past, convenience meals were reserved for the elites. These days they can be seen at every major road offering discounted meal combos which have been found to contain high cholesterol and oil. The resultant effect is that consumption levels of these products have
increased leaving
Accept comma addition
increased, leaving
 people with excess calories the body converts into fat.
For example
Linking Words
, a research conducted by the
Use synonyms
Food Health
Accept comma addition
Food, Health
 Council of Nigeria in 2018 revealed that those at a risk of cardiovascular and respiratory diseases exclusively ate fast
food
Use synonyms
. A workable solution to
this
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 menace is to increase taxes on quick meals. The law of demand states that an increase in price lowers demand for a product and as
such
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 people will either reduce consumption or stop totally. In the United Arab Emirates
for instance
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, the government increased value added tax on ready made
food
Use synonyms
 by over 200%,
this
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 lead to a decline in overweight individuals because many people could not afford it. If the fat content of processed and unprocessed
food
Use synonyms
 is
also
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 regulated by
government
Suggestion
the government
, there would be fewer cases of obesity. To sum up, an unhealthy society is a time bomb that would affect the labour force and government spendings on health. There is
need
Suggestion
the need
a need
 to control the rise in obesity in the country by regulating
food
Use synonyms
 make up and introducing premium taxes on it.
Submitted by akinade90 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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