IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Many people believe cities should not try to preserve its old, historic buildings and instead ,they should destroy them and replace them with modern buildings. To what extent do you agree?

#people #cities #buildings
A historic buildings in the cities are quintessential role in the development of an identity of the town. Having said that, some section of the people
believe
Suggestion
believes
 that destroying an old heritage
sites
Suggestion
site
 will pave the way for a new modern
facilities
Suggestion
facility
. I will be discussing about
this
 topic in a detail and giving my view on
this
. A monumental constructions are the heart of towns and it leads to a major tourist attraction point.
For instance
, A
histroic
belonging to the past; of what is important or famous in the past
historic
 sites are recognized as a world heritage and seven
woners
have a wish or desire to know something
wonders
 in the world
also
 represent a larger old
construcution
the act of constructing something
construction
constructions
.
This
 old
masions
a craftsman who works with stone or brick
masons
mansions
gives
Suggestion
give
 a large enough revenue through
tourisam
the business of providing services to tourists
tourism
, local
employement
the state of being employed or having a job
employment
 and
unquie
radically distinctive and without equal
unique
recognization
the state or quality of being recognized or acknowledged
recognition
 to the town.
For example
, A Taj Mahal from India has provided
tremedous
extraordinarily large in size or extent or amount or power or degree
tremendous
 revenue and foreign attraction to the small town called Agra in India.
However
, there are plethora of old buildings are there across the
glob
the 3rd planet from the sun; the planet we live on
globe
, but only limited of them got attention and making
positive impact
Suggestion
a positive impact
.
Also
, in order to maintain
this sites
Suggestion
this site
these sites
, there
are
Suggestion
is
 ample investment
needed which
Accept comma addition
needed, which
 comes at
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 opportunity loss.
Eventhough
Suggestion
Even though
this
plural of "this"
these
 monuments are not economically viable, they teach us
unvalueable historic lesson
Suggestion
an invaluable history lesson
invaluable historic lesson
invaluable history lesson
unvalueable history lesson
 for the generation to come. In conclusion, I strongly disagree with the statement on not preserving the old building.
Instead
, we should create an atmosphere where
this
structures
Suggestion
structure
are preserved
Suggestion
is preserved
, marketed and financially sustainable.
Submitted by adventurebudha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: