There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

#music #world #country

It is true that musics

Suggestion

are

really an essential part in our life and play a role in motivating or just simply make our

moods

the opening through which food is taken in and vocalizations emerge

mouths

be comfortable. Personally, I believe that traditional

music

of a country more important than other international

music

which is heard everywhere nowadays. Human beings

have been developing

Suggestion

have developed

music

and enjoyed for

very long time

Suggestion

a very long time

ago. Since we were born, we have been taught how to sing a song and enjoyed many lovely

music

that would be

unforgettable moment

Suggestion

an unforgettable moment

unforgettable momentous

. As children, they

firstly

know how to sing before studying how to write and read. It makes it easier for the children to memorize the

lyrcis

the text of a popular song or musical-comedy number

lyrics

of song than read a long story. And so that, it could help them to easily remember any vocabulary of the new language. Nowadays, people tend to listen more international

music

which is entertaining and popular.

Nonetheless

, in my opinion, I think that traditional

music

should be valued over international

music

that has become very popular, and kept developing in the future. A rich variety of pop

musics

Suggestion

music

are

Suggestion

catchy and fun, they're

vital part

Suggestion

a vital part

vital parts

the vital part

in commercialize

purpose

Accept comma addition

purpose, such

such

as promoting a product or event, or just simply want to make the singers become more popular in the Internet. Vice versa, traditional

music

is written without any commercial purpose. It just

wants people be

Suggestion

wants people to be

more happy

Suggestion

happier

, and remember the childhood with family. In conclusion,

music

has been playing an important role and constitute a vital part of emotional values to our life. International pop

music

could be easily obsoleted and replace the new one. But with traditional

music

that would never

dissapear

get lost, as without warning or explanation

disappear

disappears

disappeared

in our memories.

Submitted by sdfds on Tue May 07 2019

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Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Fully explain your ideas

People face far greater risks in the modern way of life than they did in the past. How far do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say showing program such as Olympics, cricket on television is the best way to encourage adults to do exercise. Some say that there are some other ways to encourage adults for exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people feel unsafe either staying at home or going out. What are the possible reasons for this? What can be done to address this issue?

There is an increasing trend around the world towards having a small family rather than a large family. Do the advantages of having a small family outweigh the disadvantages?

The best curriculum is not one based on a static body of knowledge, but one which teaches students to cope with change. To what extent do you agree or disagree?