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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this

Parents are increasingly encouraging their children to get a
job
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 during their free
time
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.
Although
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, children will lack sufficient
time
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 to
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rest but
Accept comma addition
rest, but
 they will eventually develop a significant value for money right from their early age. In my opinion, working during
this
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time
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 will be beneficial to both of them.
To begin
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 with, working in
this
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 period will help them to develop value for cash, as they will
also
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 have experience on how it is hard to earn a dollar. A very good example of
this
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 is, when I was in high school, earning approximately $50 per day, I always appreciate whatever was given to me by my parent and spend only on important things. For these reasons, getting a
job
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 in
such
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time
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 will be incomparably essential.
Conversely
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, while it is possible to get a
job
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by
Suggestion
with
 these children during
this
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 precious
time
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 will deprive them from a significant quality
rest
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, which they ought to have enjoyed. It is obvious that, after spending their busy days in school, both in class, in the library and in
practical
Suggestion
practice
 rooms, the free
time
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that is
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 supposed to be spent on
rest
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 would have been used for another purpose.
For instance
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, a child who goes to school 5 days a week and spent the remaining 2 days working will eventually be tired and occasionally end up dozing off in class, of which, the possibility of losing concentration is evident. On these notes, utilizing
such
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time
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 to work should be discouraged. To conclude, ultimately, getting a part
time
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job
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by
Suggestion
with
 the children during their free
time
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 has become incredibly common and having a work experience helps them to develop value for money despite that they
also
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 lose their
time
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 to
rest
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. From my point of view, working at
this
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 free
time
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 is more beneficial to both the children and their parents.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • responsibility
  • punctuality
  • work ethic
  • financial literacy
  • budgeting
  • time management
  • work experience
  • career prospects
  • independence
  • self-esteem
  • communication
  • interpersonal skills
  • academic responsibilities
  • school performance
  • hobbies
  • relaxation
  • well-being
  • stress
  • fatigue
  • premature adulthood
  • childhood experiences
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