Governments prohibiting the underage children for getting full-time jobs in certain countries. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is forbidden in
sime
quantifier; used with either mass nouns or plural count nouns to indicate an unspecified number or quantity
some
particular countries that children get a full-time occupation, and I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
considering the education and the
health
Use synonyms
of the young. On the one hand, the education of individuals is paramount
for
Suggestion
to
a society's well-being, because in today's world the knowledge is power.
Therefore
Linking Words
, children must be taught until at
lest
immediately past
last
they graduate from secondary school, having learnt the fundamental knowledge on various subjects ranging from social sciences to the technology.
For example
Linking Words
, children should learn how to use the current technology and to adapt the trending devices
such
Linking Words
as 3D printers. If children work full-time, it will impede them to go to school, and when they grow up
theycannot
Suggestion
they cannot
contribute to the society they live in,
in addition
Linking Words
, they will not be able to pursue a rewarding career and make a comfortable life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, full-time work would adversely affect the
health
Use synonyms
of the youngsters.
Firstly
Linking Words
, children need
playing
Suggestion
to play
as an essential their mental
health
Use synonyms
. Both individual and social activities with friends will augment their cognitive skills as well as their emotional intelligence.
For instance
Linking Words
, while playing games, children learn to help each other and to share.
Secondly
Linking Words
, children's physical condition flourishes if they do regular exercises or sports
such
Linking Words
as basketball or tennis, and
hence
Linking Words
, their physical
health
Use synonyms
will be assured. In both cases, mental and physical, kids need time to realize the required activities, and if they work as a full-time employee, it will avert the children from
such
Linking Words
requirements. In conclusion, I completely agree with the governments which strictly prohibit the children for having full-time occupations, because it would prevent them from improving as a wise and healthy member of their society.
Submitted by betulsum on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: