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Writing Samples
Band 5

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

#year #crime #rate #increases #rise #activity
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When it comes to
crimination
a final climactic stage
culmination
, we witness a surge in the amount of criminal activities annually. There are a variety of criminal motivations that actually lead to deadly sins, from which some solutions must be executed to turn over the situation.
In
Suggestion
At
 the beginning,
reasons
Suggestion
the reasons
 for people to commit crimes can be classified into two distinctive categories.
Firstly
Linking Words
, criminals share the similarity of having difficult lives. They can’t stand being in those miserable backgrounds any longer.
As a result
Linking Words
, they may rob some money or doing dirty things for others to receive immediate payment that can change their circumstances. The
second
Linking Words
 reason is that they have mental problems which make them lose their morality. They can hardly tell what is right and what is wrong and just do what they want. In some cases, they are diagnosed as mental patients.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in order to reduce the crime rate, actions
from
Suggestion
of
authorities
Suggestion
the authorities
 must be taken. The very
first
Linking Words
 thing government need to do is to care about the basic living condition of the people. They need to reduce the gap between society classes and subsidize for the poor.
Secondly
Linking Words
, since the spreading of many mental illnesses, we should help those patients to get treatments
such
Linking Words
 as mental therapies,
etc
continuing in the same way
etc.
… in spite of avoiding them.
Moreover
Linking Words
, we need to
do inform
Accept comma addition
do, inform
 about those
illness
Suggestion
illnesses
 to everyone so that people all aware of the mental health. In conclusion, when we understand that criminal activities occur because of the criminals’ struggling backgrounds or their mental illnesses, both government and the whole society can interpret from the root to prevent the crimes.
Submitted by Thanh on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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