Some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university, in order to travel or to work. Do you think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#students #year #school #university #travel #work

Nowadays, many students tend to take a gap year before going to university, going to travel or to work. Despite the fact that it brings tremendous advantages to students, I would argue that the drawbacks of

this

trend are outweighed by its benefits. On one hand, there are two significant advantages it can bring to young adults.

Firstly

, work experience along with many life skills, can be gained by students. By working in a company, students understand the working system in reality and they can try various types of part-time jobs which will

motivates

Suggestion

motivate

them, giving an idea of what career they would like to have in the future.

Secondly

, they can meet a myriad of new people with different levels around the globe. Making friends with people with different cultural backgrounds widens students' horizon, enable students to cooperate or share ideas with them. Regardless of these advantages, there are significant disadvantages it can bring to students' lives.

First

of all, students may not want to continue their study after quitting school for a year. They probably enjoy travelling or the time that they get paid off for hard work. If

this

is the case, most of the students will choose to keep travelling or working rather than studying; which may make them feel regretful in the future when they realize most of the job with high salary only hire employees who attain

high qualification

Suggestion

high qualifications

. Another downside is that, students need to get money from their parents in order to travel or to maintain their life. With a college qualification, it is even more difficult for them to find a job with

satisfactory salary

Suggestion

a satisfactory salary

;

therefore

, their income is usually insufficient for them to use.

As a result

, they need support from their

family which

Accept comma addition

family, which

students may take it for granted. Under

this

line of thinking,

although

there are advantages of the current trend to take a gap year, they are outweighed by the disadvantages which I addressed above can affect students’ future seriously. 336 words

Submitted by kiki_120 on Wed May 15 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

335 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university, in order to travel or to work. Do you think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays an increasing numbers of profession such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can done to solve this.

Nowadays,many people choose to be self-employed,rather than to work for a company or organisation. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year.Some people argued that the money should spent on improving living standards on Earth.Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, the population of older people is steadily in creasing. Dose this trend have positive or negative effects on society?