IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that personal happiness is directly related to economic success, Others believe that there are other factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #happiness #success #factors
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According to some that humorous delectation depends on financial reward. While
on the other
Linking Words
hand some
Accept comma addition
hand, some
holds
Suggestion
hold
 the view that other components
also
Linking Words
 depends on
this
Linking Words
. I believe that both are important on their own ends.
Firstly
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,
nowadaysfor
Suggestion
nowadays for
 successful
life
Use synonyms
fianacial
involving financial matters
financial
strongness
unusualness as a consequence of not being well known
strangeness
 is
major thing
Suggestion
a major thing
the major thing
.
as
Suggestion
As
, the status of a
person
Use synonyms
 depends on economic strength.
Linking Words
for
Suggestion
For
 instance, if
Use synonyms
person
Suggestion
a person
the person
 is
fianacially
from a financial point of view
financially
 strong can afford all facilities of
life
Use synonyms
 as compare to
economical weak
Suggestion
the economical weak person
economical weak people
an economical weak person
person
Use synonyms
 who only can think of
this
Linking Words
. The main problem of
this
Linking Words
 era is status apart from other things like ethics and values.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, money itself
doesnot
Suggestion
does not
 make a significant difference in happiness. In the main while the other components like health, friends and family interaction. Health is
also
Linking Words
 major thing
,
Accept space
,
if
Use synonyms
person unhealthy
Suggestion
a person unhealthy person
the person unhealthy person
person
Use synonyms
 is not
whealthy
Accept comma addition
healthy, then
healthy then
then
Linking Words
 the
life
Use synonyms
 will be upset. In
conculsion
a position or opinion or judgment reached after consideration
conclusion
 of
this
Linking Words
 both the points are equally important money, happiness and mental satisfaction are interrelated with each other. Health and
whealth both are
Suggestion
wealth are both
wealth both are
what both are
health both are
 necessary for spending
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by humairashehla09 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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