IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about their country, while other people think it is not necessary to travel abroad because all the information can be seen on yv and the Internet.

#people #travel #country #information #yv #internet
Nowadays many
Accept comma addition
Nowadays, many
 people believed in that
traveling
the act of going from one place to another
travelling
 to abroad is necessary for
learn
Suggestion
learning
 their
nation
, whilst
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 group of thinkers say that because of technology evolution, we can be seen on the mobile and laptop via
Internet
Suggestion
the Internet
. Both of has own pros and cons. Before committing on
decision
Suggestion
a decision
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 would like to mention all the arguments in the
further
 paragraph.
To begin
, everybody have
wish
Suggestion
wished
to travel foreign
Suggestion
to travel to foreign
country
 once in
alife
Suggestion
a life
 and many people going to another
nation
 because of attraction by its infrastructure and know about their culture and religion. Even thousands of students go to abroad for study purpose. It is necessary to travel abroad because we
can not
can not
cannot
 feel their environment on the computer. And sometimes
Internet
Suggestion
the Internet
 can not provide actual
information
 about
country
Suggestion
the country
. So it is better to go and collect
information
 about
nation
Suggestion
a nation
nations
the nation
 which you want.
In
Suggestion
On
 the other side,
world
Suggestion
the world
 is becoming a very small because of technical
evolution every
Suggestion
evolution, every
 thing and every
information
 of
wordls
the words that are spoken
words
worlds
 can
generating
Suggestion
generate
 at home through
Internet
Suggestion
the Internet
 and television.
Such
 as everyday news channel provides all the news about any corner of the world and because of
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 we can learn everything of another
country
soch
to so extreme a degree
such
 as we can learn
foreign language
Suggestion
a foreign language
foreign languages
 and its traditional,
costom
accepted or habitual practice
custom
customs
costume
 and culture. To conclude,
although
 technology can provide all the
information
 about another
country
, something it is not actual and not
trustable so
Accept comma addition
treatable, so
treatable so
 people who have
able
Suggestion
ability
 to travel abroad
then
 it is necessary
for
Suggestion
to
 learn about another
nation
.
Submitted by sannyp800 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: