Unemployment is a serious issue throughout the world. A number of changes need to be made to reduce the problem. What are the reasons for unemployment? What should governments do to solve this issue? 22

Unemployment has become a serious problem in many countries around the world. It affects individuals, families, and the economy as a whole, often leading to poverty, social instability, and reduced productivity.
Therefore
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, governments need to take effective and sustainable measures to reduce it.
This
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essay will discuss the main causes of
this
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phenomenon and suggest possible solutions.
To begin
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with, there are several reasons behind the unemployment crisis.
Firstly
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, many people lack the education and technical skills required for modern jobs, especially in the fields of technology, engineering, and data analysis.
In addition
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, the rapid development of technology and artificial intelligence has replaced many human workers with machines; in many countries today, robots and automated systems perform tasks that were previously done by people. Another key factor is the mismatch between education and the job market, as universities often produce graduates whose knowledge and training do not meet local economic needs.
Moreover
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, in some countries, problems
such
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as a weak economy and poor management make it harder to create new jobs. In terms of solutions, governments must take effective steps to tackle
this
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problem. Supporting innovation and technology projects can create new jobs in emerging industries.
Furthermore
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, attracting foreign investment can increase employment opportunities and strengthen the economy.
Additionally
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, investing in education and vocational training will better prepare young people for labour-market demands and reduce skill gaps. In conclusion, unemployment is a complex issue that requires modern, creative, and long-term solutions.
Although
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there are many causes of job losses worldwide, citizens, businesses, and governments must work together to address these challenges and build a more productive future for all.

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Task response
The essay covers the two asks but add more depth. Add more real steps or examples from real life to show how to cut unemployment.
Grammar and style
Break long sentences and use simple words. Some lines are long and hard to read.
Coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly. Keep one idea per paragraph and use joining words to show how ideas go from cause to cure.
Content
Clear main idea: unemployment has many causes and the answer lies in gov action.
Coherence
Good use of linking words like To begin with and In conclusion.
Organization
Strong form: an intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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